


Paper Boats

by NoxCoil



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dad Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:42:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9064573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoxCoil/pseuds/NoxCoil
Summary: Warnings: Alcohol use, swearing, sexual jokes/ future content, limb lose, blood, vehicular accidents, smoking, and reference to a drug denThis is the first chapter of a multi chapter fic I'm working on. This one is just getting all the pieces together and establishing the world and my initial depiction of the characters who will be living there.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This Fic was a gift for my super wonderful friend Noel! He’s got some beautiful artwork on his art blog, shinyno.tumblr.com and I encourage you to check it out because he's incredible!
> 
> The name of this fic is in reference to the song “Paper Boats” from the video game Transistor. If you haven’t played it, I highly recommend it! A link to the song can be sound here → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBToqg1erZs

Jesse rolled his eyes at Jack as he walked toward the kitchen for a late night snack. He didn't want to catch the glance of the overbearing other father, but somehow he could never escape his sight. Like always, Jesse was tired of hearing the same old one sided arguments come out of Jack’s mouth. It was either how he wasn't doing enough around the house, or how he wasn't going to amount to anything if he didn't pick a lucrative career path, or how “Blah blah blah Jack, it ain't none a your business anyhow! I'm gonna be a photographer, I'm gonna make a livin, and it ain't gonna matter to you none! Dad?” the lanky young man turned to look at Gabe for support, but was met with an exhausted face.

“Mijo, you need to think of your future. We know you love photography, but it's hard to make it in that industry. I'm not saying quit, I'm saying is that you should have a plan B if your first option isn't working out- oh fuck off Jack!” Gabe snapped his attention to the blond man who was shaking his head in disapproval. 

Jesse shrunk away from his two fathers as they shouted at each other. He grabbed the keys to his beat up 1980 Ford out of the key bowl, and tried to dip out the back door so he could save himself the trouble of listening to the same old garbage. Jack immediately raised his voice louder when he heard the jingle of keys and held out his hand, “Not a chance young man! You're not sneaking out!”

“Like he doesn't already?! Telling him not to do something will just make him do it Jack!” Gabe laughed, though it was cruel and cold, nothing like the warmth Jesse was used to.

“Where do you think Jesse gets it from, it certainly isn't me! It has to be the reckless undercover agents you expose him to every day!” Jack snatched the keys away from Jesse and glared at Gabe,”It's no wonder he's turning out like this!”

The anger in Gabe’s eyes only grew with every word that Jack said, his chest was heaving with the hot breath he was taking in from his nose. Primal, Jesse thought, an animal. A monster. “Like this?” now his voice was calm, and that was even more frightening to Jesse. Gabe took a step toward Jack, his foot heavy, “What do you mean, my son is turning out “like this”?”

Jack leaned forward with his face so close to Gabe’s they could have been touching noses. “Your punk kid is turning out just like you.”

That's when Gabe snapped. He grabbed a glass from the kitchen table and threw it at the wall and yelled as it shattered near Jesse’s head,”If you hate us so much you can fucking leave! I don't need this shit from my own goddamn husband!” 

Jesse stood there for a moment in silent shock, just before tears welled in the corners of his wide eyes. As soon as Gabe saw the tears, he took a step forward, and when Jesse flinched, he stopped dead in his tracks. “Mijo…” his voice was soft now, but it didn't stay that way. As Jesse turned and flung open the back door, Gabe called after him, “Mijo! Jesse! Come back!” 

Gabe ran after his boy for a while, but the younger man was much faster than his father. Eventually, Gabe lost him to the night, stopping and falling to his knees on the ground. “Please… I can't lose you too.”

But they'd lost each other as soon as the glass shattered.

Jesse came back in the early morning before the sun came out and found Gabe asleep on the front porch. Not a chance he was getting in the front door, and he knew if Jack was still there he'd be in the kitchen waiting for him. No, he couldn't risk that either. 

“I'm turning out like him, might s’well use what he taught me just to spite ya.”Jesse mumbled as he climbed the tree next to their house.

It was a five foot gap from the tree to roof, though it seemed like a mile as far as Jesse was concerned. But if this was going to work, he had to risk the jump. He bent his knees, swung his arms a few times to build up some nerve and momentum, and then leapt from the tree. Jesse swore his soul had left his body when he jumped the gap, but when he landed on his chest with a thud and a wheeze, he knew he was very much alive. And when he heard Gabe stand up to the sound, he thought he had died again. “Jesse!? Mijo, is that you? Jesse?” 

He steadied his breathing and curled his knees to his chest so his feet weren’t dangling off the side of the roof anymore. It broke his heart to hear his father yelling his name like that, a desperate plea to get him back, but Jesse wasn’t going to live like that ever again. He thought being adopted by Gabe would have been different, would have been safe, only come to find that Gabe could turn out just like his birth parents; violent monsters. Jesse wasn’t going to stick around to find out if he’d become a monster.

Jack’s voice came from inside the house, quiet at first and grew as he came outside. Jesse winced to himself at the sound, Jack was still angry about what had happened, “If you’d just let me call the other officers, we could start a search and find him. Waiting for him to come back is just putting his life in danger, we should-” but Jack hesitated. There was a long pause before Jesse heard Jack’s footsteps move closer to the front of the porch where Gabe had been sitting, his voice becoming softer, “Gabi?”

 _Gabi._ Jesse rarely heard Jack call his dad that, and it had been almost unheard of for over a year. Gabe wasn’t having it. “Don’t give me that shit Boy Scout,” pain dug into his words like a knife, twisting and sharp, “We both know how this ends. My boy is good at hiding, he’s going to get away from us at all costs. You and me? We aren’t staying together, we both know that. And this whole lie we’ve told ourselves, staying together for his sake, it just tore everything apart.”

“Our-”

 _“My Punk Kid,”_ Gabe hissed through gritted teeth,” Remember that Boy Scout? You lost every damn claim you ever thought you had to _my son_ when you spat that in my face. You didn’t pick him up out of that drug den at six. I did. You didn’t adopt him the next day. I did. You did even adopt him when we got married. Jesse Reyes is my son! He's my boy and if I know anything about him, it's that we won't find him if he doesn't want to be found!”

Jesse felt his stomach tighten like he was going to throw up. Listening to all of this was making him rethink his plan, but eventually he swallowed his anxieties and crawled through his open bedroom window while Jack and Gabe continued to bicker about “ownership”. In his room he was only grabbing the essentials: Camera, two pairs of pants, flannel, three shirts, various counts of socks and underwear, and all of the money he had in the coffee can on his desk ($316.78), and jammed everything into his backpack. Jesse stared at the framed photo he had on his desk for awhile before opening the back and taking it and shoving it into his back pocket. “Now the hard part,” he sighed softly and stared at his closed door.

The stairs creaked as Jesse walked down them and sent spikes of panic up his spine with each noise. With his adrenaline at a peak, Jesse had to bite his lip to keep himself from sprinting down hall and into the kitchen for his keys. At least, where he hoped Jack had put his keys back into the bowl. “Don’t you walk away from me Gabriel!”

 _Shit!_ Jesse opened the hall closet and ducked inside, his heart pounding. He grabbed a sleeve from one of the jackets that was hanging up and covered his mouth to muffle his heavy breathing. “Oh don’t walk away from you!? Is that an order Captain Morrison?! Sure sounds like it you righteous bastard!”

“Oh blow me Gabe!”

“Sorry, that’s reserved for my _husband!”_

Jesse shook with fear as the two furious men walked passed the hall closet and into the back rooms of the house. He hoped they had turned left toward the home office, and risked the peek out to see where they had gone. Left, yes. “Okay, time to go.” 

The lanky man stayed low as he crept down the hall and moved right toward the kitchen. As hungry as he was, he skipped the fridge and went straight to the keys. “Thank god Jack’s a stickler for the rules.” he whispered with a sigh of relief and grabbed his keys quickly. 

It didn’t matter at this point, Jesse knew that as soon as he started that beast of a truck his cover would be blown, but even still he stayed low and quiet to avoid the fire of his parents. The screen front door wasn’t as forgiving as he had hoped however, and slammed shut behind him. That’s when Jesse started running, and booked it straight to the red beacon of safety that was his truck. He slammed the door of his truck and fumbled with the keys until he jammed the right one into the ignition. He made eye contact with Gabe just as the engine started, and for a moment, Jesse thought about staying. But the moment didn’t last, not with Jack right behind Gabe. 

Jesse threw his truck into reverse as Gabe shouted his name, and the last he saw of Gabe was in his rear view mirror, his sturdy frame looking much less than it had standing in the middle of the street. Over the roar of the engine Jesse heard his name being called. He didn’t look back anymore, he couldn’t, he just couldn’t. If he looked back now, he knew he'd turn around, and he wasn't about to make that mistake.  
____________

In the 5 years since he'd run away from Gabe and Jack, Jesse had done a lot of growing. Couple inches here and there, bulked into his frame like they always said he would. All around not bad for twenty-two. One change that he went through wasn't one that he'd call physical, though it did add some weight to his soul.  
McCree: Jesse had dropped his last name of Reyes and picked up McCree the night he ran. “Sounds cool, like those westerns Dad- Gabe would watch.” he had told himself time and time again, not remembering that McCree was his original last name before Gabe had adopted him.

Over time using McCree in place of Reyes became like wearing a ring, and he stopped feeling the weight after about a year. Now it was just his name, one he'd give out even before his first on many occasions. 

McCree had to move to another city to make sure he wouldn't be found, and ended up settling in a place called Watchpoint. It was two states away from where he grew up, 1,257 miles, a full day and a half of driving thanks to pit stops. The day he got there McCree immediately did what any runaway cop’s son would do and change his identity. Name change, new ID, new passport, open a postal box, get shit done. Yes sir, City Hall would only know one name that day, and it was Jesse McCree.

Instead of going to look for a hotel, Jesse went job hunting. He didn't care as long as it would pay him. At seventeen, he didn't have a lot of options, but eventually the public library took him on. “We welcome all. Should anyone give you trouble, please bring it up with Mondatta and myself. We will make things right.” the man who hired McCree at the time couldn't have been much older than McCree himself, maybe twenty back then. Zenyatta was kind, if a little cryptic.

Still, a job was a job at that point, and while the library wasn't glorious, it was minimum wage and he could put books back all day if it meant his freedom.

A year into his job at the library he met Angela, a med student who was his age. They became quick friends, but more out of necessity than compatibility. Jesse knew the books, Angela knew the town and wouldn't lecture him in finding inner peace and forgiveness. Angela was damn smart, McCree told her that over and over. Most people their age were still looking into college, some of them had been accepted, but Angela was in her second year and on the fast track to graduating. 

Eventually, Angela talked McCree into figuring out how go get himself into college as well. She had to poke at him a lot before he would ever consider going, but once she said the magic words, he was all ears. “You're not limited to just medical you know. You could study anything and W.U.: law, astronomy, world history! That’s just a few of the majors, they also have different majors, I find them… well, a little trivial, but they would make fun hobbies! Boxing, apparel design, photography, culinary arts-”

“Step back Angie, what was it? The third one?” McCree’s eyes were wide and he had to hold tight to the railing of the ladder to keep from falling off. Every inch of him was tight with energy.

“World History? Jesse, I would have never pegged you for-”

But the look that she got from him immediately told her that he already knew the answer. Photography, hot damn photography. McCree flashed a wide grin at Angela and slid down the ladder with his boots landing on the ground with a harsh thud, and his spurs jingling loudly. In the distance, Mondatta hushed them, but Jesse only hollered loudly right over his gentle voice, “Photography!?”

It was decided right then that Jesse was going to apply for college. Angela helped, and Mondatta and Zenyatta did their best as well, but Jesse didn’t get in the first time. Or the second time. Or the third. A year of rejections, and then finally an acceptance. Angela had giggled at him when they had gone out for lunch to celebrate that day. “You just don’t give up do you?”

Jesse smiled, and swallowed his food before speaking out of politeness, “Got a stubborn streak that stretches a mile wide, don’t give up on nothin I think’s worth it. It ain’t no good to just turn tail soon as shit goes south.”

“Language,” Angela huffed and smiled at him.

He started in the fall, and it wasn’t anything like how he expected. Gabe had always told him that he was doing everything he could as a photographer, that his camera was good enough for anything he’d shoot, but he was very wrong. He needed better lenses, had to learn new techniques, what in gods name shutter speed was. Jesse thought he knew something about photography, turns out he was just a natural shot with no smarts. But that changed with time too, just like he did. 

In his gen-ed classes, he met Genji Shimada, this humdinger of a bright kid with a shock of green spiky hair. He was going for law, and always talked about a grouchy older brother named who kept telling him that he had to be more focused in class. “But Boxing McCree!” Genji yelled during their lunch period on day, “That’s what I want to do, not be some stuffy suit for the rest of my life! Anija is always telling me I need to quit dicking around if I want to get anywhere!” Genji made a stern face and looked at Jesse, mocking his older sibling, “Genji! You will do what is best for the family! You will cease these childish dreams and find order! ”

“Switch majors.” Jesse had said it so laxly that Genji had been caught off guard, and his face went blank. McCree just shrugged, “If I didn’t like taking pictures so much, I’d switch to somethin else. You passionate bout boxin, go be a boxer. Focus boxin, minor in law to keep em off your back. Way I see it, y’all got one life to live, make it a happy one.”

It didn’t go without fights, McCree was told, but the day finally came where Genji just ran at him full tilt and jumped on the burly man in what Jesse could only describe as the most powerful full body hug he had experienced to date. “Where’s the fire Slick?” he chuckled, and returned the mighty hug.

Genji thrust his arms into the air with a holler and trusted McCree not to drop him,“I am going to be a boxer! Thank you for believing in me!”

They saw Angela graduate two years before them and quickly started working on her Residency practice with little break between. Jesse thought she was some kind of bird, always flying from one thing to the next without landing so much. He thought it suited her though, and she never much complained about the work she did. 

“Shoot Angie, by the time I graduate, you’ll be a full fledged doctor huh?” Jesse asked one afternoon as he took shots of Genji swinging at a competitor in the ring.

“Yes, well, that is the plan!” she giggled as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear and continued on her paperwork,” Once you and Genji are out of your parents homes, I anticipate more than just small scrapes you know. I’ve got to be ready for when you two end up in my hospital!”

“Oh come now, you and I both know we ain’t the reason you became a doctor. You just like helpin people.” He turned the camera to her and snapped a few photos before she noticed.

Angela’s joke left McCree with a dry mouth and shaking hands. All these years, she’d thought he’d been living with his parents? He chuckled and nodded without allowing himself to be given up, there was no way he’d let her figure out that his home was the bed of his truck or sometimes the church down at the end of town if the weather was bad enough. Jesse’d been smart about it, got himself a gym membership so he could use the showers and washers for cheap, and the university allowed free parking for students in some areas. Mondatta and Zenyatta knew, or at least he suspected that they did, but he wasn’t about to confront them on it. Instead, he let it be, took a deep breath, and snapped another photo.

____________________

Here he was, five years after running away, and about to graduate. Jesse felt his chest tighten with each step he took, and no matter how many times he stopped to take a deep breath he knew it would just tighten back up. He wanted to call his father, to tell Gabe he’d be graduating and making a name for himself in something he loved, but he didn’t know if the number was the same anymore. And more than that, he didn’t think that Gabe would want to hear from him after five years. “Come on McCree, get your head together. You left that behind, ain’t no sense in goin back now that you got a new life.”

Jesse was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn’t hear Genji as he approached and fell into stride with him. The green haired man was just as bouncy as he had been the day they had met, all spunky and full of fight. He punched the air in front of them and laughed when Jesse jumped a little, “Yo McCree, you still free to help me with another photoshoot? I could use some current headshots for my profile.” 

Jesse smirked and looked down,”O’ Course I'm free, got all the time in the world.” Jesse really didn't have the time to do a photoshoot with Genji, but if it would get him a few more shots for his portfolio there was no way he'd pass the chance.

With graduation only a few days away, McCree needed to buff out his portfolio as much as he could to impress the people coming to the art divisions looking for what Angela had called “new talent”. She had more or less warned Jesse and Genji about how graduation day ran at the university. They brought in industry professionals to let the students showcase their work. For Jesse, that was putting together his portfolio into his best shots and into themes. Genji would be boxing with the others in a tournament that would go all day, something he’d been training for since the day he’d changed majors. “Your family will be there for you, yes?”

“Ah, no.” McCree swallowed hard and adjusted the aperture on his camera to account for the lighting outside, “Gabe and Jack ain’t gonna make it out here. Don’t want ‘em here neither,” just as quickly as he snapped a few photos and changed his angle on Genji, Jesse got the topic away from him, “Your family showin up?”

Genji’s face became serious and his eyes dulled, “Father is too busy with a case, and Anija said that it is trivial to bother-”

“Your brother is a dick.” McCree growled and hit the shutter a little harder than he should have.

“Excuse me?”

Oh hell, now he’d ruined this too. Jesse looked down at the grass and lowered his camera as guilt tore through his chest like a wild animal, but he wouldn’t make an excuse. “Thing is, if I had a brother like you, I’d be comin to all yer meets. Ain’t seen this Anija at a single one, and you ain’t never said good bout him, just that he don’t support you. Well, that’s fucked up, and I think he’s a dick.”

McCree’s heart pounded in his chest with unspoken anxiety. He wanted to run again, skip to the next town and keep it low to avoid Genji. But then Genji began laughing, and that caught McCree off guard. “You’re laughin?” 

“He is a dick! Hanzo is such a dick!” Genji held his sides and took a knee to stabilise himself, “Jesse, holy shit!”

Before Genji could stand and compose himself again, Jesse was taking photos from every angle he could. There, that was going to be his last theme: laughter. But he had to clear something up before he could take any other photos that day. “So his name is Hanzo, not Anija?” Jesse asked as he extended his hand to help him up.

Genji wiped his face free of tears and smiled up at McCree and took his hand, “Yosh, Hanzo Shimada. Anija is a term from our heritage meaning elder brother. As children we were happy to call each other by such things, now it seems I do it just from habit,” he chuckled a little,” and sometimes to annoy him.”

For the rest of the day Genji and Jesse walked around campus talking about Hanzo. The more he learned, the more Jesse knew if he ever saw this “Anija”, he’s sooner sock him in the jaw. Genji advised him against that quickly, as Hanzo had been taking self defense classes since he was able to walk. Jesse just scoffed in good humor and followed Genji’s pointing finger for shots. He grinned with each shot he took, all full of smiling and joyful faces. With each photo, another permission had to be granted, which was no easy feat. Most people hated their photo taken, but McCree wasn’t one to just use a photo that someone hated without their permission. It was lucky that when they got to the library, Mondatta and Zenyatta were falling over each other laughing. McCree was fast to take several photos and even faster to ask what was so funny. 

“Mondatta found a delightful video a kitten wiggling, and it cuts to a very large man wiggling in the same way. We have been watching it for some time now.” Zenyatta giggled and folded his arms over his chest in an attempt to hold himself together.

Mondatta turned the computer to show them the clip, and Genji immediately began wiggling with it, making Jesse laugh. Genji punched his shoulder with a laugh,” Oh shut it!”

As the day wound down, Mondatta stayed up with McCree to help him organize his portfolio. He also let him use the printer and the good folders from the back, knowing that McCree hadn’t prepared his portfolio beyond that of a digital website. He smiled at McCree and pat his back with a friendly warmth, “You have come very far since the day you came in here begging for a job.”

Blush tinted Jesse’s cheeks with embarrassment as he smiled at Mondatta, then went back to putting photos into place, “Only got to stay because y’all started payin me right away.”

“Call us old fashioned, but we do not turn away good people when we see them.”Mondatta had always been humble like that, and it made Jesse feel a little less like he was a charity case than he used to. 

Graduation didn’t come with the glory that McCree thought it would. Angela had scraped together a little cash for him to buy some nicer clothes for himself to wear during the showcase, and in her opinion he hadn’t put it to waste. Bolo tie, a brick red button down, and some new jeans that weren’t fraying at the ends. Jesse even cleaned his boots up for the occasion, and bought himself a new shaving to clean up the edges of his beard. A few people came by, looked through his work, and left with his card. He engaged in a few conversations, told them about his work and where he got his start, and he was met with vacant nods and half hearted listening. At around seven in the evening one of the teachers came by to tell everyone that they were clear to pack up and do as they pleased. She informed them that the sports competitions were still going, and that it would be a good chance to cheer on their fellow graduates before the ceremony the next day. 

Jesse thanked her for the reminder and swiftly packed his belongings into his backpack. With his heavy stomp of a run he bolted full tilt toward the boxing ring. He ran all the way up the steps and past-

“Genji?! The hell you doin out here? Ain’t you supposed to be-” McCree stopped and walked down the few steps he had passed Genji by and sat down beside him.

He was covered in sweat, his lip was cut, and he looked like he had been crying for a few minutes before Jesse had arrived. Genji didn’t look at McCree at all, just sniffed and wiped his face on his arm again. “I lost, I fucking-” Genji punched his knee and hung his head as he choked on his words, trying to keep in his anger. After a beat of held breath and shaking shoulders, Genji let his breath out and spoke softly, his entire body curling tighter, “Anija was right… He was right, I never should have tried to be something I’m not.”

There was no hesitation from the moment Genji stopped speaking to when Jesse pulled him close and hugged him tight. “You shut the hell up, you hear me. You did great, someone will want to be your coach, you’ll get a sign on, and damn it, you’re gonna be the best goddamn boxer. If Hanzo gives you any shit over this, well he can talk to your other brother about it.” he pulled away from Genji and wiped Genji’s face with his sleeve, “In case you’re wonderin, that'd be me.”

Genji’s grip on Jesse’s arms tightened and after a moment of steadying himself, he hugged Jesse again. They sat there for a while before deciding it was high time to head home, wouldn’t want to look too bad for the ceremony the next day. 

McCree saw Genji to his car before going back to his truck, only to unlock the back and crawl into the room he had made for himself in the bed. With the camping lamp on, he quickly changed his shirt and pants and folded the nicer clothes as best he could in the limited space and put them inside a gallon ziplock bag to keep them safe from damage, then put them into the milk crate he used for a dresser. It was warm enough that night that sleeping in his undershirt and boxers would be fine, so Jesse double checked that his makeshift curtains were still stuck to the metal shell of his truck with magnets before settling into his bed roll. 

Just before he fell asleep, McCree took out the picture he had taken from his desk the night he ran away and smiled faintly at the tattered image. Gabe was holding Jesse in his arms as both of them slept in a chair at the police department the night Jesse had been rescued. Gabe had refused to let him go, and Jesse hadn’t wanted to at that point. 

“You’d be proud of your mijo… I’m doing well.”  
__________________________________

Angela came to the ceremony with a flower for both Jesse and Genji. Zenyatta took the photos this time, insisting that McCree be in his own graduation ceremony. The entire thing was over in moments it seemed, and Jesse felt like it should have gone for longer even though it hadn’t. Angela said she had felt the same about both of her graduations, but everything was a blur to her at that point. McCree never figured out how she kept running like that with smiles and excitement. Genji came up to Jesse once the ceremony was complete in the fashion he had become accustomed to: full tilt running run. The two graduates laughed and roughhoused a bit before Angela told them to settle down lest they hurt themselves. 

Genji released McCree from a headlock and smirked “Ah, no fun! And I was just about to make fun of him for how silly he looks without his normal hat!”

McCree pushed Genji with a deep laugh, “Well you turned your tassel the wrong way, back to college for you!”

How had he gotten this far? Jesse’s head was spinning with all of the excitement. His two best friends, the two men who had more or less taken care of him in place of his parents, and the bright lights of the auditorium all mixed together with the cacophony of cheers that came from everyone around him. Zenyatta pat Jesse’s shoulder to bring him back to reality, an anchor in all of the light hearted chaos. “You have done well, Photographer.”

Jesse puffed out his chest with pride as he looked down at Zenyatta with delight, “Thank you kindly!” 

Mondatta suggested a celebration was in order, though Genji and Jesse both knew that their version of a celebration would be very different from what the two librarians would have in mind. Still, they went with Angela and the Tekartha brothers celebrated with them, enjoying food and music, reminiscing on their four years at university fondly, sometimes not so fondly, but always with a gratitude for the experience. 

Later that night Jesse and Genji went out for drinks, much against Angela’s wishes. “That stuff will kill you!” she had scolded.

But McCree just kissed her head and hugged her tight, promising to call her at the first sign of danger. There was no way either of them would drive that night, he promised, even left his keys with Zenyatta at the library. Genji had called someone from his family ahead of time, they were both prepared for the night. With reluctance, she hugged them both and made them promise to call her in the morning before she left for the night.

In the bar, they drank their favorites at first. McCree was careful not to spend more than he had saved, while Genji seemed not to give a damn about the money he spent. That was usually how their nights drinking went, but this one felt different, more reckless. Jesse took one of Genji’s drinks from him, saying he needed to slow down before he hurt himself. Genji hauled his fist back and punched McCree in the nose, anger in his voice, “You think you can tell me how to act, just like they do?! I listen to no one!”

Jesse shook, flashes of his mother’s angry hands lashed out in his memory. Broken glass beside his head, Gabe calling his name… 

The iron taste in his mouth brought him back to reality, his nose was bleeding. Jesse stood up and held onto the edge of the counter to stabilize himself. He looked at the bartender and smiled weakly, “Mind gettin me a wet paper towel for this? Don’t much like bleedin.”

She nodded and turned around to prep the paper towel for Jesse and called security over. Jesse said there was no need, they’d be leaving as soon as he was given the paper, then he moved to look at Genji. The Boxer was nursing his drink and leaning against the counter, eyes narrow and angry. He thanked the bartender for both himself and Genji, then pushed his more than drunk friend out of the bar. In the parking lot, Genji took a few more swings at McCree, but he didn’t fight back. He just let Genji get his anger out, until it devolved into weak hitting, then eventually drunken sobbing. Jesse knew well enough that this wasn’t normal, that something was seriously wrong with Genji. He had never acted like this when they had been drunk before, it wasn’t his normal flippant disregard for safety and dancing on table tops. 

Jesse put his free hand on top of Genji’s head and pet his hair soothingly, doing what he could to calm his friend, all the while trying to fight the urge to run away. McCree didn’t want to be hit again, not by anyone he loved, never like this, never again. He heard Genji’s voice muffled against his chest. He sighed, “Can’t hear ya pal, speak up or stop talkin into my ribs.”

“My father died last night… I got home, and Ani- Hanzo and I fought. I missed his calls while I was boxing. H-He told me I was s-selfish, and I should have been there f-for Father.” hiccups and sobs rattled through Genji’s frame as he clung to Jesse’s shirt.

Then he vomited all over their shoes, which made McCree groan in disgust, but he’d been there before. Granted, he’d been alone, but those boots had seen worse nights. “Come on Brother, let’s get you cleaned up. Ain’t lettin you go home just to be scolded when you’re a mess like this.” with how much more drunk Genji was then he was, Jesse hoped he wouldn’t remember anything the next day. 

McCree walked him to the 24-hour gym and had him shower while he threw their clothes into the washer, afterwards he took his boots and Genji’s shoes to the sink and began to wash the puke from the leather and canvas. He’d have to wait til the morning, McCree thought, before Genji’s shoes would be dry enough to wear again. Genji sat in silence in the locker room with McCree as they waited for their clothes to finish drying. Every now and then he would sniffle and wipe his nose on the back side of his arm. Such a childish thing to do, but he couldn’t blame him for the way he was acting. If Jesse knew Gabe had died, he thought he’d probably act much the same: lashing out when he didn’t have the threshold to keep his emotions in, hiding how he felt for as long as he could, and drinking his feelings when the opportunity came around.

“Hanzo wants me to run our father’s law firm with him.” Genji rasped as he pulled on his clothes.

McCree raised an eyebrow at him, then went back to buttoning his shirt,”You wanna do that?”

“No.”

“Then don’t.”  
Genji nodded, his lower lip quivering. He wasn’t going to live his life for anyone else, he’d be happier following his own path. If Hanzo couldn’t see that, then he would have to convince him later with his success. Before they left the gym, McCree didn’t need to convince Genji to get on his back instead of wearing the wet shoes. The boxer set his head on top of the photographer’s and put the cowboy hat on, hiccuping from drunkenness and from crying. On their walk, McCree whistled a gentle tune, swaying every now and then from the whiskey he’d had. Two drunks, one much more than the other, making their way back to an old red truck parked behind the library. Jesse couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought, and hoped that his nose wasn’t broken.

He set Genji up in the back to sleep and took the driver’s seat, then opened the cab window so they could hear each other. Genji’s muffled voice reached his ears once they had settled into what Jesse hoped were comfortable enough sleeping conditions. For him, it had never mattered, but he knew that his friend was used to having a bed. “McCree, why do you have a room in the back of your truck?”

No sense in lying, even if he didn’t remember it, Jesse always wanted to be truthful with Genji if he could. “This s’where’ve been livin since I got to Watchpoint.”

It startled Jesse when Genji’s face was suddenly through the cab window and looking down at him in horror. The photographer hoped to god he wouldn’t be thrown up on again. “McCree, why did you not tell me you were homeless?!”

He tried to smile, hoped to ease his troubled friend with light words, “I didn’t see much point in makin a mountain outta a molehill. Genji, stop, just… hey, quit lookin at me like I ain’t-” Jesse scratched his beard with absent frustration, “ I turned out just fine didn’t I?”

“You did, but even so… McCree, tomorrow let us start looking for a place to live together. We could be roommates, if you are alright with that.” Genji softened his scowl into a look of compassion, one that he had seen on few other faces before. 

They were silent a moment, before McCree grinned and pushed Genji by the face back into the bed of his truck, “Y’know how to play me, don’t ya?” as he settled again he sighed, “Alright, we’ll look go lookin.”  
___________________________

“Genji! You were supposed to be here yesterday, where were you!?” Hanzo spat at his brother as he came through the door. 

Genji groaned from the hangover and glared at his brother as he walked through the front doors of their house. Hanzo had been waiting for him for god knows how long, but Genji didn’t care if he had been worried or not, not with that kind of greeting. He put up his hand to cover his eyes from the abrasive ceiling lights and ducked away from his brother’s yelling, only to be followed by it. “Genji you cannot run from this as you have every challenge in your life! You have a duty to the family, you cannot simply ignore us!”

“Like you’ve ignored me!” Genji turned around then, fuming mad. He flung his arms out with aggressive energy, anger moving him more than he ever would have in this kind of hangover, “Hanzo you have never come to anything that was important to me! Hanzo you missed the boxing showcase yesterday!”

“Genji our father died!”

“During my final match! You did not know that he was going to have a heart attack, you did not come to my match because you chose not to! Do not try to blame Father because you are an asshole!” he stopped, shock on both their faces for a brief moment before Genji turned away from him and began walking down the hall to the stairs.

Hanzo was going to call for him to stop, but held his tongue. What good what it do, he thought his brother was too stubborn and childish to listen to him anyway. During the day Hanzo was left to take charge of their father’s arrangements: the addition of their father’s name to the tombstone at the family plot, right beside their mother, his cremation, filing the will with the court so it could be read at a later date, calling a florist, calling family, taking ownership of the law firm. Hanzo covered his face with his hands and took a few deep breaths before he straightened out and looked at the desk full of paperwork. Hanzo's eyes wandered the once grand house, now feeling empty and dark. He could hear Genji groaning upstairs and scoffed, “Foolish child.”

In the evening Genji came back downstairs, his head low and his face looking drained. He headed to the kitchen for a glass of water, but found his brother standing at the counter making food. Hanzo side glanced at Genji and returned to cutting vegetables, “I see the spoiled prince of Shimada castle has awakened.”

“And the dragon is still breathing fire down my neck,” he taunted and grabbed a glass from the cabinet, “Leave me alone Hanzo, I am not in the mood to fight with you. And take Father’s hair ribbon out, you know the gold was his favorite.”

Hanzo set the knife down and turned around to face his brother. He growled at Genji, low, angry. If Genji wanted a dragon, he’d get one. “I am the head of the family now, I will wear what I please. You are being a child, Genji. Now, are you going to help me with the arrangements and give up your delusions of being a boxer, or are you going to insist on chasing such fantasies?”

Genji slumped against the counter and rolled his head back, “What happened to you Anija? You used to be fun! What happened to your dreams of owning a tea shop, what about that? I know you still have that teapot I made for you when we were children, Anija-”

“Genji, you will grow up and address me by name! Damn it, for once just be an adult!” Hanzo slammed his fist on the counter to punctuate his sentence. A final, damning act.

But Genji wouldn’t stand for it, and raised his voice right back. “Well _Hanzo,_ ” he snarled the name, playing into his brother’s agressions, “I am an adult! I am making something of myself, for me! For no one else, for me! It is selfish, you can say that, but it is my life and I will not lead it miserably!”

“You will do as I s-”

“I will never do as you say!” Genji threw his arms to his sides and stomped his foot, his face red with anger, “Hanzo I will never do as you say, you are not my father, our father is dead!”

“I wish it had been you that died, at least the family disappointment would be gone!” Hanzo’s words came faster than he could have imagined.To this day, Hanzo wished that those words had never been spoken.

The two brothers stood there in stunned silence, just staring at each other. Genji was the first to break, his eyes overflowing with tears. “Then I will go,” he whispered in a shaking voice.

Genji ran away from his brother and took the keys to his car, not bothering with a seatbelt. Hanzo didn’t follow him, he knew his brother would be back when he cooled down. He’d apologize then, but he would have to wait until Genji returned for that. 

Genji sped down the highway and didn’t bother with wiping his face. He gritted his teeth to try and keep from shaking, but it wasn’t helping as much as he hoped. His mind was racing with painful thoughts, angry thoughts, ones that made him want to shut his eyes tight and just stop. He didn’t, instead Genji hit the gas to try and make a light a fourth of a mile ahead. He should have stopped.

At two that morning Hanzo received a call from Watchpoint hospital. The report said that Genji had run a red light and hit the driver’s a red 1980 Ford. Because he hadn’t been wearing his seatbelt he had broken through the windshield and skidded across the pavement for some thirty feet. Most of his bones were broken and he was in critical condition. The driver of the Ford had lost an arm from the elbow down, and in the event that the driver pressed charges, the Shimada family would be held responsible for the accident because Genji was the cause. 

Hanzo dropped the phone and fell to his knees, shock paralyzing him. “It is my fault. It is my fault…” he repeated the phrase over and over as he wished for it all to be a bad dream. Wish as he would, Hanzo knew he was awake.

Once he had gathered himself enough to stand, Hanzo got on the next shuttle to the hospital. He asked every hospital employee he saw “Where is Genji Shimada?” until one nurse told him: Genji would be moved to the Intensive Care Unit in two hours if surgery went as planned, and it would be another two before Hanzo was allowed to see him. The nurse was kind enough to take him to the room where Genji would be placed after his surgery, and waited there with painful anticipation. An hour later they brought a man past who was sobbing and trying to get out of the wheelchair they had him in every few feet. He was yelling, some from the pain of his missing arm, some for his “papa”, but Hanzo didn’t pay any mind to him until the man in the wheelchair started begging for them to tell him if Genji was alright. “Please! Please, he’s my best friend, please you gotta tell me!”

“Mr.McCree, sir please calm down. We have to get you into bed now. Stop fighting us- Sir, please you’re going to open your stitches!” the nurses around him were frantic.

Hanzo spoke up then, his chest open and stance that of a lord, “You think that causing troubles for this man and woman will give you answers to my brother’s state!? If you are truly his friend, you will silence yourself and focus your energy into his recovery, he needs you strong, not spineless!”

Jesse tried to hold back his sobs, but only managed to keep them to whimpers as he and Hanzo stared at each other. The nurses took the moment of calm to get McCree into the room beside Genji’s, thanking Hanzo as they did so.

But Hanzo did not feel as though he should be thanked for anything. A man has lost his arm, and his brother’s life was hanging by a thread, all because he had lost his temper and shouted words that never should have been spoken.

 _It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault._ Hanzo couldn’t get that out of his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a chapter 2! I'm so sorry that this took 5 months, I've gone through a lot of life events, and this had to be put on the back burner. Thank you for your support and kudos, it makes my day! Chapter 3 at some point!
> 
> The Hospital chapter. New characters, more development, finally some Hanzo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU, Dad Reyes adopted McCree as a child AU, College AU, everyone is human AU:
> 
> This Fic was a gift for my super wonderful friend Noel! He’s got some beautiful artwork on his art blog, shinyno.tumblr.com and I encourage you to check it out because he's incredible!
> 
> The name of this fic is in reference to the song “Paper Boats” from the video game Transistor. If you haven’t played it, I highly recommend it! A link to the song can be sound here → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBToqg1erZs

Due to complications, Genji’s surgery was taking much longer than initially anticipated. Hanzo had asked for a new estimation, but the nurse only told him “another hour or so”.

The stoic man glowered at the wall between the open door of his brother’s vacant hospital room, and the half closed door of the man who claimed to be his brother’s best friend. It was an impossibility, he thought, that such a rude and unkempt man would have managed to befriend even one as spirited as Genji. What would that man have gained from screaming such a thing? Pity perhaps? Or was he looking to get the nurse’s number after all of this was over, was he banking on the sympathies of that kind woman? How repulsive, how could such a man even think of claiming his brother as a friend, the very-

“You gonna keep mutterin shit bout me, or are we gonna talk like adults?” Jesse’s voice came from behind the door, startling Hanzo. 

He blinked a few times before he pushed off the back wall with his shoulders and crossed the small gap. There was slight hesitation in Hanzo’s movement to open the door, a hint of guilt for speaking aloud all of the thoughts he had wanted to remain a secret, but he pushed the door open nonetheless. When he saw the man from before, he looked much different. No longer wailing and covered in his own tears, he had his hair pulled back by a nurse into a small nub on the back of his head, and his face cleaned up. He was sitting up in bed, his hand holding just above the place where his arm was bandaged as if that would stop the pain. He looked at Hanzo and gave a weak, wry smile, “Hanzo Goddamn Shimada, can’t believe it took going to hell to meet you. Name’s McCree.”

Hanzo narrowed his eyes and folded his arms over his chest once again, “How is it that you know who I am?”

“Take a guess,” Jesse paused, and when Hanzo offered no humor, he became snippy. He was too tired to put up with anything like what Hanzo might throw at him, and what he’d learned from Genji, is was nothing but attitude. “Genji told me bout you plenty.”

“Oh? If you know so much, tell me then.” He tilted his chin upward in challenge, daring another word to be spoken. A dragon, ready to go for the kill.

McCree held up his hand and silenced Hanzo, giving him a low staredown. “I ain’t in the mood for games, so I’ll get right to it,” he lay back in the bed then, trying to conserve as much energy as possible, “You’re three years older ‘an Genji, makes you a year older ‘an me. You and Genji ain’t been seein eye to eye since your mother died, s’when he was graduatin high school and didn’t know what he was wantin to be. You collect tea, and tell people your favorite is oolong so they ain’t gonna fuss none, but Genji always gets you som’in special on your birthday because that one's really your favorite. I ain’t gonna go tryin to pronounce it though, Genji always laughs at me because I get it wrong. You got a tattoo when you was drunk, full sleeve. It was your first time drinkin, and you didn't have much of a good friend in sight. Genji thought it was real neat, your parents hated it. Done said they'd take y’all outta the family name if ya ever pulled some’in like it again,” he smirked at Hanzo’s rigid posture,” You want me to go on, or do I got ya now?”

He felt violated. A man he’d never met before knew more about him than anyone he’d ever called a friend. When Jesse smirked, it took everything in Hanzo’s depleted willpower to keep from striking him. “Enough.”

Jesse just kept pushing buttons. “So Hanzo, lemme ask ya som’in. What in the hell are you doin here?” After several moments of Hanzo’s stubborn silence, McCree spoke up again, this time with demand, “Tell me why you’re here.”

“I owe you nothing,” he scoffed, his temper a front for the pain he felt in his chest. 

“You’re right, you don’t, but I wanna know why you’d pick now to act like a brother again when it coulda been any other time he asked you to be there for him.” Jesse’s breath hitched with pain when he tried to move his arms to sit up again, and when the stitches pulled from strain, he yelped.

Hanzo moved away from McCree when the pain struck him as if it were contagious. Jesse laughed through his pain and at Hanzo, nodding his head toward him as opposed to gesturing with his hand like he would have had it not been clutching what was left of his other arm. “You can’t even handle a stranger bein hurt. Get the fuck outta here, go home.”

“Be silent!” he snapped in response and took a few quick steps closer to McCree. Much to his surprise, McCree flinched away from the sudden movement. He had expected a man of that size to brace if anything, but certainly not to flinch. McCree was afraid of being struck by another person, Hanzo realized then. But why, what had happened? The question did not matter though, Hanzo had no intention of getting to know McCree anymore than he already did.

Hanzo took a step back and released the tension in his shoulders with a controlled breath out. Then, his gaze fixed on McCree’s arm with narrowed eyes. Jesse tried to hide the stump for a second before realizing it was pointless, and instead gave it a small wave in Hanzo’s direction. This time he was careful not to extend it too much. Jesse chuckled softly, a broken laugh, “I'm never gonna take ‘nother picture again… shouldn't be on my mind, seems selfish givin what's happenin down the hall, but I ain't,” he swallowed hard in an attempt to keep his quivering voice steady, “I ain't never gonna take a picture again. That ain't in your interest though,” he swallowed again, this time it was even more difficult to keep from shaking, “Genji told me you never paid much mind to his boxin photos.”

The elder brother tensed once again. His memory went back to the countless times just that year that his brother had come to him with photos of his boxing matches, practices, photoshoots with just himself. He remembered Genji’s smiling dying each time he had dismissed the photos as trivial, a waste of time. His chest tightened at the thought of never seeing his brother walk up to him again. Focus, a plea to himself, think of other things. “You are the one who took the photos?” 

McCree nodded, but did not look up to meet any gaze he might have been given, “Don't matter much now, does it?”

“I suppose not.” his attention was drawn away from Jesse and to the opening door behind him.

An older woman walked in with two cups of tea resting on her clipboard, Hanzo guessed mint from the smell, and took a few languid strides past him before stopping at the foot of McCree’s bed. She eyed the elder Shimada before speaking, “Should you be here?”

The question confused him, until he realized that no, he should not. Hanzo was no friend or kin of that man, why should he be allowed into his room? “Go, you are taking up time standing there. Jesse is not my only patient, hurry now.” 

Once Hanzo had gone, she turned back to McCree with a much softer look on her face, and handed him a cup of tea. “Jesse McCree, my name is Ana Amari, I will be your doctor during your stay here. Do you have any questions for me before I tell you how this will work?” 

Jesse leaned his face over the cup of tea as she spoke, taking in everything with its calming taste and smell. This was familiar, somehow, though he couldn’t put a finger on it. Everything about Ana was familiar, but that was eluding him as well. “Any questions, like anythin?” Jesse asked as his gaze traced the tattoo under her eye.

“If I feel like answering it, sure. If it is about your health, I'll answer anything you want to know. If it is about me, I may be reluctant to give you details.” her smile was inviting, motherly almost. That's when it hit McCree, what was so familiar about her.

“D’you know a man by the name of Gabriel Reyes?” Jesse bit his lip, set his tea down on the side table, and picked at his blanket. The name of his father feeling foreign in his mouth, “He lived in LA about five, almost six years ago with a man named Jack Morrison?” 

“Ah, Gabriel, I haven't seen him since Fareeha was a little one. My daughter used to be babysat by his son-” Ana froze then and she just stared at Jesse with wide eyes. She set down her clipboard and tea carefully before walking over to his immediate side to take in his features. “Jesse Reyes…” her voice was a hushed whisper, all oak tones and dark, just as he remembered.

But McCree didn’t care to hear his old name, and grimaced at the sound of it coming from such a familiar face. “Name’s McCree now, I ain’t tryin to attract attention. And don't go tellin him I'm here, you got that? He don’t need a screw up like me comin back inta his life after so long, he just don't.” 

Ana’s eye narrowed as she crossed her arms, now showing that motherly disposition Jesse had once known so well. “Not tell Gabriel!? Do you know what he would do if he could see you again Jesse? Do you know how long he’s been waiting for you to come home?” her foot tapped with the built up anger. Forget being a professional, she was livid with him, “He lost you and Jack in the same night, he's never been the same. He called me that night you know, and do you know what he said?” 

Guilt burned in McCree’s throat white hot, it was a knot of molten metal that couldn’t be taken away. He swallowed to no use and looked down and away from Ana, too ashamed to meet her sharp stare. She scowled harder at him as if to burn holes in the side of his head. “He told me that his little boy was gone, and he wasn't smart enough to find you. I told him it would just take time, but I was wrong, and here you are,” she balked at the thought , “asking me not to tell a broken man I found his son.” 

“Doctor Patient confidentiality an all that,” Jesse fumbled with his words as he tried to keep it together. Between the swell of emotions and the pain he was in, he was impressed that he wasn’t in tears. 

After a beat of silence, Ana touched McCree’s hair softly with her hand before going back to the clipboard at the foot of the bed. “Alright, have it your way. But you promise me that you will speak to him someday. And none of this ‘Why Miss Amari, we ain’t stole no cookies’ promises. I knew every day that you gave my daughter two cookies, you coyote. Now promise me, a real promise, you will call your father.” her look was demanding, she would not yield.

“So what's it gonna take to get me up an about again?” Jesse asked weakly as he grabbed the cup of tea once again. He didn't care for the thought of talking to Gabe again, no matter how much he missed him.

Ana just sighed softly and sipped her tea before she spoke again. One day, she would get him to speak with Gabriel again, now a promise to herself. His chart wasn’t pretty, but “You'll live, don't be too disheartened. Physical therapy once the wound heals. A prosthetic can be made to replace your missing limb, and you'll be prescribed painkillers for obvious reasons. As for the broken ribs, and the injuries to your knee, it's going to-”

“My what?” Jesse blinked a few times, disbelief hitting him with another car. 

“Hush,” Ana snapped, then went over to his side. She threw off the blanket and pointed at his knee, “Doctor Ziegler operated on your knee when you came in. Your patellar ligament was severed, and there are cracks in your femur that will take time to heal. As for the ribs,” she pointed to his chest,” I am surprised you did not notice that pain already. Though with trauma, it could be easy to miss. The impact of Genji’s car broke three of your bottom left ribs. We will know in what places once your x-ray comes in. Any other questions?”

Jesse leaned back, more gentle with himself now, as she pulled the blanket back over him. He couldn’t remember anything about the accident except for seeing Genji’s body mangled across the road, something he wanted to be a nightmare. After that, it was some nurse putting him into a wheelchair and telling him everything would be okay. But nothing really was, how could it be? 

“How's Fareeha?” he settled with something personal, a white flag. I want to know you again, he thought, but did not say. 

How Ana’s gaze softened, if Jesse didn't know any better, he would have thought that Fareeha had been born just that day. So full of love, so pained with worry. “She has plans to join the airforce, you know how much she loved planes as a child... I know she can handle herself, after all she is my daughter,” the doctor shifted, an obvious unease settling in her body, “still, I worry for her. Much like any parent will worry for their child.” 

Jesse scoffed at the thought. “You and Fareeha were always close though, I'll give you that. She's tough, just like you. Gonna be right as rain, you'll see.” 

With a final smirk, Ana pinched McCree’s cheek, then pointed at him. “Call Gabriel. Doctor's orders. I'll be by to check on you later.” 

As soon as she was gone, Jesse crumpled in his bed. The IV full of liquid pain killers wasn't doing enough for the pain, and now his guilt was higher than ever. He wished that Zenyatta and Mondatta were with him, their presence would ease the emotional pain a little bit. But what he really wanted, that he couldn't admit to anyone, not even himself, was to call his father and have him there. He'd yelled for him earlier like a child, screaming “I want my Papa” over and over until his rationalization kicked in. But Jesse wouldn't call, not when he felt like this.

A failure. A no good, idiot failure of a son that ran away for nothing. He had nothing to show for it anymore, he couldn’t get a job as a photographer without his arm. Jesse heard Hanzo in the hallway, and knew that Genji had just been brought to the room beside his. From the sound Hanzo had made, Genji wasn't in good shape. This only pulled Jesse further into guilt. How dare he sit there thinking of himself when his best friend could be dying in the room beside him? No matter how many times he tried, Jesse didn't fall asleep that night. He couldn’t, not when he could hear Hanzo's cries in the hallway. 

_______________________

Angela came to see Jesse early that morning. Her eyes were red with tears as she set down a cup of coffee beside him. “Black, three spoons of honey, just the way you like it.” her voice was broken, as if she had been sobbing for hours. 

McCree knew that she had been. He lifted his remaining arm up to her and waved her in, where she very gently leaned into Jesse and hugged him. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back as she continued to cry. Never had he seen Angela this way before, broken down and in so many pieces. When she finally spoke again, the air left his lungs as if he had been punched. 

“I could have lost you both.” 

Just the thought of Angela being left alone made Jesse want to never let her go. He winced as he gripped her tighter, both his broken ribs and muscles protesting in every way they could, but he didn't want to let her go. “We ain't goin nowhere Angie. I'm fine, an Genji’s gonna be fine, you got nothin to-” 

But she snapped at him, sitting up and looking hurt, “I am a doctor! Do you honestly believe I do not know what will happen to Genji!?” 

Pain, white hot. It burned up inside of McCree like fire, spreading all over his body. He grit his teeth and pushed her away from him, holding the ribs she had pressed down on in her anger. “Doctors s’posed a have hope, right? Well have some goddamn hope for Genji. I do, he's strong. You seen him fight. He can fight this too.” 

Just as quick as she was to harm, Angela was fretting and checking over McCree like a mother hen. He steadied his breathing after a time, and attempted a smile at her,” Come on Angie, we both know he's a strong man. And with you lookin after him? Genji’s gonna be on his feet in no time.” 

The coffee was cold by the time he drank it, but even cold, McCree loved how it tasted. He'd yet to find someone else who made a cup better than Angela, and he hoped that she'd teach him how someday. She always said it wouldn't be special then, so instead she'd teach the person he married. He said they had a deal, and expected that wedding gift upon engagement. 

Mondatta and Zenyatta came to see Jesse around noon. They both looked exceptionally worried for him, Zenyatta especially. Very tentatively, the bookish monk held McCree’s stump in his hands and examined it at length. He looked over at his brother, then to McCree, his brother, and back to the arm, before speaking. “A car did this?” 

“Crushed all the bones, had to chop off what was left of it so it would heal right. Ain't very pretty, is it?” Jesse spoke quietly so that the shame he felt wasn't too apparent in his tone.

The whole thing felt like an eyesore to him. He'd seen, hell he'd even taken beautiful pictures of wounded or sick people before. Photos that made you feel something, not just pity, but really something. Hopeful, even joyful because they were smiling or enjoying life despite the pain. Jesse thought that if someone took a picture of him right then, all anyone would feel for him was sorrowful. They'd want to coddle him, he assumed, to say “Oh what a poor, homeless man.” because that's all he'd ever be to a stranger looking in a magazine article. He could see the headline to accompany such a bullshit picture too. “From truck bed to hospital bed: the Jesse McCree story”. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and eyed the stump of his arm,”No sir, not pretty at all.”

Mondatta smiled gently at Jesse and set a bag down in his lap very carefully, each movement mindful, as if he had thought out this situation over and over in his head before he and his brother had come. “There is beauty in all things, you of all people know this. Beauty in change, beauty in starting over. This is a different journey, yes, but no different from the one you took years ago when you first came into our library.”

Jesse shook his head, “How you figurin losin my arm, breakin my ribs, and fuckin up my knee, all while my best friend is fightin death next door, is anythin like comin to Watchpoint?” 

The elder monk opened the bag and smiled as he took out a few items. Each one made Jesse’s entire being shake, and the last broke him to tears. His camera: the lense smashed but replaceable. The nice clothes that he and Angela had gotten, still in the gallon ziplock bag. Two of his shirts, one flannel, and his pajama pants. Then, Mondatta hesitated, just making sure that Jesse had been watching him, he handed over the photograph of Gabe and Jesse in the station. McCree held the photo in his shaking hand, then flat to his chest so he wouldn't ruin it with tears. 

After a moment, Mondatta spoke very gently to him, “You are arriving at a strange and new place in your life, Jesse. You carry within you a great deal of pain, and now you must start all over in a life you do not know, in a place where nothing is the same. But,” he held McCree’s face gently and wiped tears with his thumbs, “You know this path, you have walked it twice before. I do not know if this will be the last time, but I know that it will be the last time alone. Zenyatta, myself, Angela and Genji, we will walk this path with you in many different ways. Do not have doubts plague your mind, we are here.” 

Jesse let himself feel everything he had been holding in, and he cried. It wasn't dignified, he knew it, but he didn't care. Zenyatta rubbed his back as he sobbed, Mondatta got tissues and patted away tears, and for the first time since he ran away, McCree told the whole truth. Everything, no more lying, no more hiding behind the grin of a con. As he spoke, the monks listened, and when he choked, they waited patiently until he could continue. Ana came in once while they were speaking with each other, but made it quick as she could. 

In the other room, Hanzo listened, his hyper vigilance picking up on the now familiar sobs. This made him angry, not that the sobs were familiar, but that he was sobbing at all. Genji couldn’t even breath on his own. Hanzo’s sharp stare jumped from the cracked door to his brother beside him, or what was left of his brother. He'd need extensive physical therapy just to even sit up, this “Angela Ziegler” said. Hanzo had no idea what her connection to his brother was, but he could tell by how often she had to compose herself that they were close. 

Tentatively, Hanzo reached out and touched Genji’s hand, though he immediately pulled away once more. He shook with fear as he listened to the machines that kept Genji alive, each beep telling him over and over the same words. 

“Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.” 

“All your fault. All your fault. All your fault.” 

“Murderer. Murderer. Murderer.” 

Hanzo gasped for air as he put his head between his knees and shook. He couldn’t keep this up, he couldn’t stay in this room much more. But if he left, he'd never forgive himself. The elder Shimada slumped to his knees at his brother’s bedside and held the railing of the hospital bed,” Genji… tell me what I must do to make this right. How do I get you back?” 

But this wasn’t like their father’s stories when they were children. The dragon brothers did not see each other in different forms and learn lessons on humanity. No, Hanzo grit his teeth as he felt his own heart tighten with the pain of his reality. “Stay Genji… it is selfish of me to ask this of you, after I was so cold to you for so long, but please,” Hanzo hiccuped from keeping his breath in, tears stung the edges of his eyes again, “I do not want to lose you for good.” 

He stayed there on the floor with his head bowed and listened to the machines call our their judgment with each beep. In the other room, he heard laughter, and only felt the knot in his stomach tighten. They were allowed to be happy, he was not. He would not be let himself be happy until Genji woke up, “I promise, Brother. We will come out of this together, or not at all.” 

___________

The following morning, Hanzo returned to the hospital as early as he could. He brought with him a few of Genji’s personal items, along with the paperwork that had to be finalized for their father’s funeral arrangements, and a lawsuit he had been hired to work on. When he got to his brother’s room, the dragon lord was less than pleased with what he found.

“What are you doing here?” Hanzo scowled deeply at McCree, who was sitting in a wheelchair beside Genji’s bed.

Jesse waved the book in his hand and gave a half apologetic smile, though he wasn't very sorry at all. “Mornin Shimada. Angie brought me in here after she checked Genji out, said I should read to him, might be good for his brain or somethin. Ain't too good at readin aloud, but I figure he won't mind if I mess up.” 

Like a serpent, Hanzo struck his hand forward and snatched the book from McCree’s hand. He read the cover and scoffed while he wrinkled his nose and threw the paperback into Jesse’s lap, “Fah, My brother would not-”

“Awe hell Hanzo, lemme just read the book to em in peace. You ever read it?” McCree shook the loose binding at him in a vaguely threatening manner as he raised an eyebrow.

“I do not read westerns, they are tasteless.” 

“You ain’t read Jesse James?” 

When Hanzo offered no response, McCree hollered his own of excitement. “Well shit, Shimada, you're in for a treat!”

Though he played on as if he despised the photographer’s presence in the room, Hanzo was at least thankful for the growing familiarity of his voice drowning out the sounds of Genji’s life support. And the story, though not his first choice for something he would read to his brother, was actually not as bad as he had assumed it to be. An outlaw, but a good man in this adaptation, robbing banks and trains with his brother to support their families. Hanzo skimmed paperwork, but found himself following along to the story more than to his duties. 

_Ignore all distractions,_ he reminded himself inwardly as lifted a pen from his lap desk. 

Jesse watched from the corner of his eyes for just a moment as he turned the page, smirking to himself. “You enjoyin the book?”

“It is trash.” Hanzo set his pen down for a moment and made sharp eye contact with McCree, a display of dominance. 

But McCree just chuckled softly and shook his head, not entertaining the challenge, “You’re somethin, I'll give ya that Hanzo. Now… ah, Robert Ford, the bastard.” 

Ana’s voice cut McCree’s a few hours later, making him jump. She had Angela tailing behind her with an apology all over her face. “Jesse, why are you out of bed?” 

Hanzo did not move his head, but shifted his eyes to watch the show. How delightful, the “outlaw” will be getting punished, he thought.

Jesse held up his book, then gestured at Genji,”Readin to my pal here, ain't got nothin else goin on.” 

“You're right, he doesn't. But you have missed two appointments because other doctors could not find you. You're not going to recover as quickly as I had expected if you're off messing around and putting yourself in harm's way.” That's the Ana Jesse knew, stern but with care in every word.

She grabbed the wheelchair and began moving Jesse out of the room. Much to her surprise, he didn't protest, but tossed the book to Hanzo with a wink. “Finish readin that to him will ya? We were just gettin to the good parts.” 

Moments later Hanzo heard yelps of pain from the other room, indicating that McCree was getting those appointments he missed and then some. Hanzo lifted the book into his hand, noticing the dog eared page near the end. Eventually, his own curiosity got the best of him, and the elder Shimada finished reading the book to his brother. 

_________________

In the evening, Angela sat with McCree in his hospital room. She brought him a real meal from home much to his happiness, and they played cards for a while before getting to the aching conversations. 

“Are you doing alright?” 

Jesse smiled at his cards before setting them on his chest. There was pain in his eyes, not the kind that Angela was expecting however. It was all emotional, not physical. She was hoping for the latter, that she could at least deal with quickly. But emotions weren’t always her best, and not in situations she'd never been in such as this. Her heart was so close to the problem, but she couldn't even fix it for herself, how could she fix it for him? And when he spoke, his low sigh only helped to set her closer to the edge. “You know I ain’t doin fine, why you gotta ask it?”

Angela nodded slowly, her eyes fixed on the pair of sixes, king, and four she had in her hands. There was a knot in her throat before Angela heard Jesse speak again, letting her ground herself and keep her composure, though the composure didn't last long. “Angie, are you alright?” 

“No,” in the decision to be truthful with Jesse, Angela began to shake, her eyes welling with tears, “No, I'm not alright. I don't know what to do Jesse, I don't know how to save him…”

McCree set his hand on hers and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. He stayed quiet, letting her know that he was with her in this small way. He wasn’t going to try and bullshit this one, he saw Genji, but if anyone could bring him back, it would be Angela. But right at that moment, Jesse knew she wasn't looking for a pep talk, or someone to tell her that she could cure the world. Right then, Angela was just overwhelmed and seeking the company of an old friend. 

________________

“The crutch is working just fine, yes?” Ana asked, eyeing Jesse from where he sat in his hospital room.

He lifted the crutch in his hand and shook it at her as if her were a child with a sword before she snatched it away with a scolding smirk. He chuckled as she returned it, “It's mighty fine. I'm gettin ‘round okay, knee’s healin alright.”

McCree had been at the hospital for a week, and had been moved from the ICU and into the inpatient area. Genji had also been moved to this area, though not in the same place much to McCree’s dismay. Ana, on the other hand, thought it was good for him. “You'll have to work off all that pudding you've eaten somehow. It might as well be to hobble around the hallways to read to your friend and pester his brother. If your knee hurts too much, tell me. We can change your exercises. Soon we'll find out about a prosthetic arm, until then, I want to see improvements.” 

Jesse had laughed at her remark, but she was right. Not about the pudding, but about the reading. He had gone down to bother Hanzo and read to Genji every single day that week. Zenyatta took it upon himself to bring in a few “Conversation starter” books, as the monk librarian had put it, but Hanzo didn’t pay any mind to the olive branches given to him. Instead, Hanzo elected to do paperwork while silently scowling through tales about a boy flying through the sky with a band of bug in an enormous peach, a dog who is panickedly named by a young girl after a grocery store and then proceeds to change the entire town for the better, and a man who can read stories into existence ends up reading a monster out.

Jesse smiled as he set down the worn out out classics, their bindings well loved and their covers ripped and weathered. He snuck a peek at Hanzo, eyeing him a moment before going back to the cover of the book. “What’d you think of these Shimada?”

“Childish.” sharp tongued, a one word answer spat without eye contact. 

That didn't sit right with McCree. He threw one of the books at Hanzo, “Childish huh, that what you want?” 

It was then that Hanzo saw it, how Genji could be friends with a man like McCree. It struck him as the book did, falling from his face and into his lap with a “Shwap!” and “foff” on the soft fabric of his slacks. The stoic man could not help but chuckle at the thought, and let himself be entertained for a moment. McCree raised an eyebrow at him, sitting up in his chair a little more. “What's got you laughin?”

For the first time, Hanzo’s eyes were not painfully cold toward McCree. He cleared away the small chuckle with a grunt, but his face remained just a little softer than before. “You act much like he does.” 

Jesse snorted, not believing it. “Genji ain't like me. Better head on his shoulders, don't goof off all a time. He's ahead a me, but don't act like it. Man's man. Respectable.” 

“We seem to know a different man,” the elder Shimada leaned back in his chair and shifted his gaze to the younger, his smile fading until it was gone, “Tell me about him.”

“You really want to hear bout Genji?” Jesse asked softly, more in disbelief than accusation. 

Hanzo nodded, quiet and thoughtful with his answer “I do.” 

Jesse went on for a few hours, slow at first to test the water. He told about meeting in gen-eds first. Genji would always wake him up because his snoring was so loud, and once they became friends Genji started bringing him coffee. “Those mornin classes killed us both, but between my snorin an him bringin coffee, we made it alright.”

McCree chuckled softly and knocked the back of his knuckles against Genji’s bed railing,” Genji knew everyone on campus. Always talkin with folks, makin em smile. Kid could eat, damn. No shame in it neither, I'd meet him in the afternoon for lunch, we'd hit the food carts outside school ‘n he'd go to two or three of em, big grin on his face,” he lulled his head to the side, propping it in his hand, “Always got somethin sweet an said it was because y’all would eat it as kids.”

“What was is?” Hanzo yawned, removed the book from his lap, and got up to pace the room and stretch.

“Red bean bun… You need to get out for a few?” Jesse asked as he watched Hanzo circle the small room, “He ain't goin nowhere, we don't gotta worry.”

How cold the room got once Jesse stopped speaking. Hanzo rubbed the back of his neck as he watched the heart monitor beep: steady as it had been for the weeks he had stayed there. Yet the thought of leaving Genji alone for even a moment left Hanzo uneasy and his blood cold with fear. He huffed a sigh as sharp as his glare, “I suppose a second will not hurt.” 

 

They went to the senior garden just outside of Genji’s room. The garden was full of trees and shrubs covered by rain drops from that morning’s storm. Flowers lay dormant, waiting for spring to come, their colorful buds wrapped tightly in green casing. Hanzo’s eyes wandered the stone paths until he could see his brother’s window on the other side of the garden. He saw Angela checking on him, speaking to him in what he could only assume was a soft voice, and then caught his glance. Angela waved at the two of them, gave a gentle nod, and left the room. Hanzo turned to McCree,” What is her relationship with my brother?” 

Jesse snorted, his laugh breaking into pieces as he steadied himself on the railing. “You got a crush on Angie or somethin?” 

Hanzo scowled deeply at McCree, the answer a wordless no. He turned his back to the garden and Genji’s room, then took out a slim blue metal case. McCree moved his glance down, eyeing the pattern. Twin dragons chasing an arrow, obviously something custom made, something expensive. Inside, very neatly packed, two rows of cigarettes and blue wood matches. Jesse never pegged Hanzo for a smoker, but then again there was a lot he didn't know about the older brother of his best friend. 

Hanzo lit his cigarette, offering the case to McCree. He leaned back against the railing and reached across his chest, taking a cigarette from the case with a quiet “Thank you.” Once Hanzo had lit it. 

Jesse found the taste of it to be disgusting, not like the cigars he used to steal from Gabe as a teenager. It had been years since he'd smoked, the feeling of the tobacco bringing about a filthy comfort. Hanzo chuckled softly, gesturing broadly with his hand holding the cigarette, “You have not had a cigarette before, I take it.” 

“More of a cigar man myself. These things taste like death,” he coughed, snuffing out the end and hobbled his way to the nearby trash, “All smoke and no flavor.” 

Once again, Jesse was shocked to hear Hanzo drop his solemn behavior in his presence, and give a little chuckle. When he turned back around, Jesse was greeted by a melancholy look and a far off gaze as Hanzo stared at the cigarette case in his hand. He looked over at Jesse, a tired and beaten down smirk on his face, “These were my father's… you were right, they do taste of death.” 

“Ah shit,” McCree slouched on the wall and faced Hanzo. He watched him for a while, trying to find the words that would help the situation, but all he could think of was what he would say to Genji. But it was better than nothing. “Not everythin you learn from your parents is golden. They ain't the be all end all on your life ya know, you don't gotta do everythin they do,” he swallowed hard, Hanzo’s eyes were narrowing on him,” It ain't bad to be your own man.” 

With his heart pounding in his ears, McCree felt pinned to the wall by Hanzo’s stare. Hanzo broke the eye contact with the strike of another blue match, his eyes darting down to the case, “And what do you propose I do instead, Photographer? Become a boxer like my brother? Fight in his honor?” 

McCree growled, and moved forward as fast as he could, grabbing Hanzo by the collar, “You mock me all you damn please, but leave him the hell alone.” 

“Or what,” he smirked now, so smug and sure of himself, “An amputee with a bad knee is going to fight a man who was trained since birth to fight for his life?” 

But McCree didn't waiver, and instead held tighter and closer. Hanzo entertained the thought of kicking out his knee and using the moment of weakness to snap Jesse’s wrist, but decided he would hold his temper and show some restraint. Hospitals had cameras everywhere. No need for the new head of the Shimada family to make his newspaper debut for breaking a man's only arm. “Release me.” 

“You gonna apologize to your brother?” Jesse smiled a coyote’s grin. Toothy, hungry, full of spit. 

And it drove Hanzo wild. He slapped McCree’s hand away from his collar then took a step back, a stern “Hmm.” coming from him as he returned to the same stone faced man that McCree had come to know. 

This, in turn, drove Jesse mad. He shook his head and whistled low, bowing his head. “You're a real piece of work, Shimada. Maybe you are just like your father.” 

“You know nothing of my father, how dare-” 

Jesse covered Hanzo's mouth with his fingertips, and leaned forward just a little. “Just like you, how come I ain’t never seen him at any a Genji’s matches? He don’t talk shit bout your Pa like he does you, s’always good, but seein how both y’all so different, well,” Jesse leaned back again and dropped his hand, “I ain't sure who took after who.” 

The quiet of the garden surrounded them as they continued to stare each other down. Hanzo unwavering, McCree unrelenting, but eventually someone had to give. “You gonna apologize, or do I gotta tell Genji he only got one brother?” 

As he pushed past Jesse, Hanzo returned the case to his pocket and left the garden without saying a word. Jesse stayed for a while longer, feeling the taste of smoke left in his mouth and wanting the familiar scent of his father's cigar. He gave a few dry mouth smacks before grabbing his crutch from the railing and started to the door. The lights inside were harsh when he first came in, the fluorescent buzz drowning out the memory of the quiet garden instantly. Nurses and doctors moved through the halls past McCree as if he were a ghost. Better than feeling sorry for him, he thought, but he craved interactions beyond the ones he forced. He was tired of being inside the hospital, it was beginning to feel like a prison more than the healing center it was supposed to be. 

Though when he got his wish the next day, Jesse was more than a little shaken. “But I don't understand, you're just lettin me go?” 

Ana shook her head,”No no no. I'm discharging you from the hospital. Meaning you can go home. I expect you back for physical therapy twice a week, and to get the cast off your leg. Otherwise, I don't want to see you unless we're catching up in our free time.” 

“How do I pay for-” 

“You'll get a bill in the mail, I don't take care of it. Now, collect your things, you're ready to go home.” her smile was so warm, so reassuring, but it provided no comforts. 

He packed up his backpack, checked out of the hospital, and made his way to Genji once again. Hanzo glared as he entered the room and collected the books Mondatta and Zenyatta had let him borrow, then sighed with a sharp breath out, “I apologized to him.” 

“Did you now?” McCree mumbled more than spoke, not paying much mind to him as he walked over to the hospital bed. 

Genji looked a little more like himself now, scabs becoming scars, bandages removed, but with the machines hooked up to him and keeping him alive, Jesse thought he looked more like a cyborg than a human. But his hand was warm when Jesse held it, even though there was no reaction he knew Genji was still there. “I'll be visitin, don't worry. I ain’t leavin you with Grumpy over there.” 

If he had been awake, McCree knew Genji would have laughed, but instead all he heard was the exhausted huff of the other Shimada. McCree turned around to face Hanzo, his eyes were narrowed at first until he saw how actually exhausted Hanzo looked. Dark circles under his eyes and messy hair tied back loosely in a gold ribbon, the same clothes he'd been wearing for days now that Jesse was really looking. He chuckled a little, leaning on the railing of Genji’s bed,”Well I'll be damned. You're human.” 

“What are you speaking of, Photographer?” Hanzo scowled harder into his coffee, the stress of the situation heavy on him.

Jesse smiled as he moved his gaze from one disheveled brother to the other, finally settling on Hanzo after the elder Shimada didn’t understand the subtlety,” You ain't been goin home. Made this place your workplace best you could,” he smirked now, feeling like he had won some kind of battle of wits, “You ain't as put together as you want folks to think. It's a refreshin look at ya, makes me think you ain't stuck in your ways.”

“And what ways would you propose I take up?” Hanzo chuckled softly with a shake of his head. He had no energy to anger McCree like he would have enjoyed so much. After all of sleepless nights, he would rather the man just leave his brother’s room as quickly as possible so that maybe, he could rest.

McCree hummed a moment, thinking about what he knew of Hanzo. “Well, I don’t know much bout your hobbies other an turnin people into stone when you make eye contact,” he laughed when Hanzo growled at him, yet continued on, “Genji told me you love tea. We don't got a tea shop in Watchpoint, just coffee. If it's what you love, it's worth goin after.”

As McCree left, Hanzo leaned back in his chair and relaxed his body, all his muscles sore from stress. “What I love has never mattered.” he whispered to the room, quiet, though full of curiosity. What if, instead of wearing his father's image, he went for his own? The thought hadn’t crossed his mind in years. 

_____________________

“Yes, the hospital got your payment, I made sure. Honestly, if he didn't have the money I would have helped him. He said he didn't want your help, but there you are, ever lurking from the shadows Gabriel.” Ana smiled into her cell phone as she leaned against the counter of her kitchen.

A loud cough hit the receiver before Gabe’s voice came in on the other line, “He's still under my insurance, I'm his emergency contact. Mijo didn’t want my help, he was getting it no matter what,” another cough rattled through the phone, “He's lucky I didn't haul ass to get up there and be with him.” 

“Perhaps you should, might do you both some good. A reunion, you could just say you were passing through to see Fareeha and I, and he just happens to be there,” Ana laughed as he did, her smile apologetic and soft, “I didn’t think so. Two stubborn men, you raised him well.” 

There was a long pause before Gabe spoke again, his voice more gravelly than it had been before. Whatever sickness had its claws in him, Ana hoped he was taking care of himself. “Thank you for looking after my boy.” 

As the line went dead, Ana set her phone down on her counter and set her hands together, lips pressed in a thin line. She contemplated calling Jack for a moment and letting him know the situation. Between Gabriel being sick, and Jesse on the road to recovery, she could use the extra hands from the old days. Still, she resisted. It was bad enough that she had already betray Jesse in this way, no use in bringing Jack into this just yet. 

For now, she'd let him think everything was the way it was when he last spoke to her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 after a long time! Sorry guys, I swear it's still alive and I'm working on it when I can. I promise that this fic will have an end, how ever many chapters it takes, and however long it takes! 
> 
> What's this? Character development you say? Yes! No new characters this round, but some sweet sweet development of the ones you already love. 
> 
> Warnings: Alcohol use, swearing, sexual jokes/ future content, limb lose, blood, vehicular accidents, smoking, and reference to a drug den  
> ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Will you ever tire of this?” Hanzo scowled, sweat dripping from his forehead in the summer heat. 

McCree chuckled low, feeling the rubber of the basketball as he dribbled it between his new prosthetic and his hand, a coyote’s grin on his face, “Not a chance.”

The only advantage McCree had on Hanzo here was his knowledge of the sport, past that, he would have been outmatched from the start. Those weeks in the hospital in early spring hadn’t done him any favors, and getting back into shape would do him some good. “So long as you don't push yourself too hard!” he could hear Angela in the back of his head, as worried and as ever. 

“I win this round, you let me spend the night with Genji, watch movies with em!” Jesse wagered as he shot for another basket at the two point line. 

Hanzo caught his rebound, only to pass the ball back for running without bouncing the ball. He threw it hard into Jesse’s chest, huffing and red in the face,” And if I win, you will leave me alone for a week!” 

With a toss from center court, the Photographer hollered with excitement,” Just a week this time? Aw Han, I'm growin on ya ain't I?” he imitated the swish of the net as the ball went through, laughing as Hanzo’s face contorted into a deeper scowl,” One more point, an you'll be spendin all night with this mug a mine.” 

“I am only behind six points Outlaw! You will not be sleeping in my home!” 

But McCree didn't always play so fair. Followed the rules of the sport, sure, but nothing said he couldn’t fake out his opponent. As Hanzo went to shoot the ball, McCree called out,” Go for it Handsome!” and laughed when Hanzo dropped the ball, fumbling to regain it. 

“That was dirty!” He snapped as Jesse smacked the ball away from him.

“You want me to get dirty?” McCree smirked, bouncing the ball in front of Hanzo as a taunt, “Mighty fine, have it your way.” 

As soon as Hanzo lunged for the ball, McCree smacked it higher into the air. His grin wide, arms up as if he were surrendering. This threw Hanzo off a moment, just long enough for McCree’s plan to work. He caught the ball above his head and threw it at the hoop, hoping that it would make it with such a reckless shot. Off the backboard, and circling the rim a few times, both men held their breath until- “YEEHAW!”

Hanzo pushed McCree, growling,” You are dishonorable, such tricks when you have the upper hand to begin with! How dare you mock me!” 

The photographer stumbled back a little, laughing and clapping his hand on Hanzo’s shoulder, “Mock you, now where the hell you gettin that idea?” 

“ ‘Go for it Handsome’, you said such a thing to throw me off, a deceitful play on your part, Outlaw.” Hanzo crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head back, eyeing Jesse angrily. 

Only to get another laugh from the outlaw himself. He'd grown fond of the nickname, and Jesse could only assume that it was in reference to the first book he had read during his and Genji’s hospital stay, Jesse James. “It's only unfair if you think I'm lyin, Han. Quit bein sour, next time we can do something more your speed, huh?”

On the car ride back to Hanzo and Genji’s house, Hanzo turned on the radio to avoid conversation he always did. The cramped space made him feel confined, the presence of another only pressing further into his skin like claws. Since Genji’s accident it had been hard for Hanzo to drive anywhere, and when he did he was painfully aware of everything around him at all times. Jesse had tried to speak to him a few times in the beginning, but eventually stopped altogether due to Hanzo’s rigid posture. Better silent than hated, Jesse knew that one well enough. 

They reached The Shimada household, and as always, Jesse couldn’t help but stare for a moment before getting out of the car. Compared to living in his truck, this house was anything but humble. It wasn’t tall so much as it was incredibly wide. At least 500 feet wide, he thought, and two stories tall. When he had first come to visit, Hanzo had explained that their family’s law firm took up most of the space, and only around 200 feet belonged to the actual family. The front door swung open and Jesse cupped his hand around the side of his mouth and hollered, “Genji! We’re home!”

“Must you do this every time?” Hanzo grumbled and closed the door behind them, locking it and placing his bag on the hooks beside the door. 

With a nod and a small grunt as confirmation, McCree took off his shoes and walked the halls with growing familiarity to where Hanzo had moved Genji. It had been their father’s room at one point, but now served as an in home hospital. It made McCree flinch every time he saw it, and he wondered how Hanzo was dealing it. He had asked once, and the response was a flat, “I am fine.” It bothered Jesse how shut off Hanzo was, but it was hard to figure out how to get him to talk. It was like the small amount of bonding that they had done never happened most of the time. Some days were better than others sure, but it was two steps forward and one step back no matter how Jesse looked at it. 

“What films have you brought this time, Outlaw.” the lawyer huffed as he did a few quick checks on Genji.

“Got a few, think you might enjoy em actually.War of the Arrows, Robin Hood, Eragon, some good ones I think. You ever seen any of em?” Jesse had always loved film, and now that he was able to watch them again after the years living in his truck, he was excited to catch up. 

Hanzo, however, wasn’t much for the world of cinema. If it wasn’t based in some form of historical period, he wasn’t about it. Sure there was a few exceptions, but if it was too far fetched, it was hard to get him to sit through the damn thing. He shook his head and walked past McCree and into the hallway, “I assume you will want something to drink?”

Jesse nodded with a grin as he set up the first film, then walked over to Hanzo, “Lemme help,” he held up a bag of microwave popcorn, “Least I can do is contribute to your hospitality.”

They sat together on the couch in front of Genji’s bed and watched film after film. Most of the time Hanzo was doing paperwork, or leaving the room to take a phone call, or just scrolling through his phone, but Jesse did see him actively enjoying the films from time to time. He made comments on the archery and the historical accuracies mostly, and McCree agreed most of the time, just happy that they were connecting over something finally. When the night was winding down, McCree helped Hanzo clean up and do final checks on Genji. Hanzo looked at his brother quietly for a while before he whispered to Jesse, his voice so gentle, “ This was my fault, you know. Your arm, my brother, all of this is my fault.”

“Bullshit.”

The sound of McCree’s voice echoed for Hanzo for just a moment before he spoke again, this time with a shake to his voice, “You do not know what happened, this isn’t something so easily explained.”

But Jesse wasn’t going anywhere. He sat down on the couch and pat the cushion beside him. “We got time Han, let me prove you wrong.”

With reluctance and hesitation, Hanzo went over and sat beside McCree. He was silent for a while, but Jesse exercised that patience he had learned from Zenyatta and Mondatta and waited for Hanzo to be ready. Jesse wasn't going to pressure him, knowing their friendship wasn't very well formed yet, he wouldn’t chance it. Hanzo took a few deep breaths, then began his tale, “ We were told we would be the next in line to take over the law firm…”

He spoke for hours, late into the night, leaving nothing unsaid much to both of their surprise. Hanzo hadn’t been able to speak to anyone about this, and once he started, he couldn’t stop and continued on and on without so much as a second thought. Hanzo spoke, for the first time, without any restraints, about everything he had held in for years. His feelings of hopelessness, the anger at Genji for not helping him, when he was blind to his brother’s passions, that pressure to live to expectations and the path chosen for him, and the pain for losing his brother along the way. 

“We never fought until our father told us that we had to take over the family business together someday. After that, we spoke less and less, and yelled more and more. I told him that I had wished for his death in place of our father’s,” Hanzo closed his eyes and turned his head away, the shame he felt eating at his composure, “He took his car, and I… I did nothing to stop him that night.”

“That still ain’t your fault,” Jesse spoke softly, the gravity of the situation very real to him, “You and Genji coulda handled everthin different, sure. Talkin to each other instead of fightin for your Pa’s attention, or even just supportin each other more, that coulda happened. But it didn’t, an then you said shit you didn’t think over all that well. It coulda happened a million different ways, but it happened this way, an you just gotta accept that. Mournin a man who ain’t dead is worse than anythin you did in the past. It ain’t too late to make things right, an I know Genji would want that too. When he wakes up, you go ahead an tell him you want ‘nother chance to be brothers.”

When Jesse reached out and touched Hanzo’s shoulder, the elder Shimada jerked away with wide eyes. Jesse pulled his hand away and looked down, “Sorry, I don't much know how to comfort you. I know Genji found comfort in closeness, we always… well, you ain't him, I shoulda asked.”

“No,” Hanzo touched the back of his neck as he spoke, his body language tense but not defensive, “It has been a long time since I engaged in such activities. Speaking with you, it has been refreshing.”

“Well now,” McCree smiled slightly and reached out again, this time without the jerk back of the other man. He gave a few soft pats before squeezing his shoulder and then standing from the couch. “Seems like we're goin to be friends by the time Genji wakes up.” 

As Jesse turned around and headed toward the kitchen to throw away their trash and place dishes in the washer, Hanzo followed him at a slight distance. He eyed Jesse, watching every movement carefully, and paid extra attention to the prosthetic arm. It moved slowly compared to his other, and the movement was shaky, but it handled well for something Hanzo could only assume to be a prototype for a fully functional model. He crossed his arms and glared at the metal digits of McCree’s hand. “How did you afford such a model of machine, when you do not have a well off job?”

“Pardon?” Jesse turned to look at Hanzo with confusion, “What machine?”

The elder Shimada walked over and grabbed his wrist, not intending to use as much force as he did. “How did you pay for this? For any of your hospital bills?”

McCree jerked his arm away from Hanzo and flinched at the dull pain it caused. “If you think I'm stealin from ya’ll, then you're more backwards than a fish in the desert. I ain’t no thief, but if you gotta know, Ana’s fortin me the money.” 

There was silence in the kitchen for a while. Neither man spoke, they didn't want to step on toes when they both knew that they'd have to be doing this dance until they could go about pretending to be strangers when Genji woke up. But it seemed like Jesse was the only of the pair that wanted to be friends, even after Genji was back. He pat Hanzo on the shoulder as he walked past him, no eye contact like they had earlier that evening. “I'll say goodnight to Genji then be on my way.” 

Hanzo wouldn’t let it be. “You feel uncomfortable, and then leave? Is this where my brother got that reaction from!?” 

“Damn it Hanzo, shut the hell up!” Jesse barked, “Just when I was thinkin we're gettin somewhere, ya go and take two steps back! I ain't here to hurt you or Genji! I fuckin care, ya hear me now!? You don't gotta like me, you don’t gotta be my friend, but I won't leave Genji alone here to die!” 

Jesse stood firmly, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Hanzo thought for a moment that he resembled a warrior, strong and unwavering. “I am not very well versed in the ways of the heart, “ He spoke quietly, just as he had earlier that night when he spoke about the accident, “I have studied my life away, all for a dream that was not mine. I did not mean for this to be difficult, but I see there is no other way. A man of freedom, and a man of discipline, we are not the most compatible, but for my brother, I will do what I must to understand his decision in becoming your friend.” 

McCree just laughed. It wasn't a good one, but that of an exhausted man at the end of his rope. “I ain’t askin you to do this for your brother. Do it for you, or not at all.” 

At this, Hanzo squinted and leaned forward to look at Jesse before him, “How do you mean, Outlaw?”

“I mean just be my friend! Don't do it for Genji, not for me, but for you. Way I see it, you don’t got much in that department, and I'd be willin to bet you haven’t had a friend over in years,” Jesse took his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair in an act of self soothing, “If you want to be my friend, I'll give you the chance. But I ain't doin it for Genji, and neither should you.”

Once again, Hanzo was lost for words. Looking at Jesse, he knew that his words were true. He wasn’t doing this for Genji, Hanzo couldn’t have kept him away even if he tried. No, the look in the Outlaw’s eyes, the fire burning there, Hanzo knew in that moment of eye contact that Jesse was befriending him because he wanted to, not because he had to. “You would try to be friends with someone like me? A man who has done nothing but push you away?” 

McCree nodded, firmly squaring his jaw with a grunt. “Best way to get rid of a enemy is ta make em your friend. Figured it was high time we stopped this back n forth, and just kept on forward.” 

Hanzo closed the gap between them and stood there a beat before giving a light bow. “Hanzo Shimada.” 

With a chuckle, Jesse extended his hand and waited for Hanzo to take it. The shake was firm, full of spirit and possibly anger. “Jesse McCree, pleasure to meet you.” 

___________________________

Angela tossed McCree a thermos full of coffee and began moving around her apartment in a whirlwind. Patient charts, textbooks, personal reading, the pages turned back and forth at the good doctor's rapid movements. “Now remember, if you have to leave, the spare keys are in the planter by the front door. Take them with you if you're going somewhere.”

Jesse gave her a small nod before she left. Angela had been kind enough to let McCree sleep on her couch until he could find a place of his own, but he was a very tidy house guest despite what Angela had expected. Living in the back of his truck for so long had made McCree a man with few attachments. He kept all his belongings in a milk crate and backpack, both stored under the side table beside the couch. She had expected more of a sprawl of items like she had witnessed in his work environment, but was happy to find that this was not the case. 

The monks had offered their home to him as well, but with Zenyatta starting to go to school again to finish his degree in psychology, McCree thought it would be best if Zenyatta didn't have a roommate. There was also the added bonus of Angela making the coffee every morning, that also helped with his decision.

Jesse sipped from the thermos as he looked at the cracked lens of his camera. He was getting better with the semi automated prosthetic he had been fitted for, but the hand was far from perfect. The thumb locked into place a lot, and the digits were slow to respond, but he couldn’t complain otherwise. It took a lot for dexterity, but easy movements like holding cups, and bouncing a ball weren’t that hard. Jesse took a deep breath and flexed the mechanics a couple times before he reached for his phone. He stared at the contact screen for a long time before he pressing *67 to hide his caller ID, then hit dial. 

“Reyes here.” Jesse hung up as soon as he heard the sound of his father’s voice.  
He took a moment to collect himself, body shaking and breathing ragged. Jesse didn’t think that hearing Gabe’s voice after so long would cause him to have a full blown panic attack. Still, something seemed off about his voice. Was it darker, or perhaps Gabe was sick? McCree chalked it up to not having heard his voice for a few years, and that his memory of the sound had distorted since. “Sorry Ana, I tried.”

Once he was calm, he sent Hanzo a text. “Since we’re givin this whole friendship thing a shot, you wanna go do somethin when you ain’t busy?” Jesse didn’t think he’d get a reply so quickly. 

“What do you have in mind? I am free today.”

He thought a moment, thinking of the things he and Genji would do in their spare time. Hanzo didn’t strike him as the bar hopping type, and he certainly wasn’t one to karaoke he figured, so Jesse went with the thing they’d shared more frequently. “How’s bout we ditch the couch and hit the cinema? I’m sure there’s somethin we can both agree on.”

 

It was longer this time, for Hanzo to reply. Jesse had gotten it into his head that he’d offered the wrong option for a day out, when his phone pinged again. He chuckled at the photo Hanzo had sent, movie times and locations circled, thought put into the selections. Two horror movies, a historical drama, and an animation. Beside the circles were very simple “Yes”, “Perhaps”, and “Fine”s, indicating the level in which Hanzo was interested in the movies. 

“Well ain’t that cute,” Jesse smiled as he texted back his responses. 

They settled on a horror film. McCree wasn’t the biggest fan of them, but he wasn’t bothered most the time by the effects if he could make fun of them. He and Genji would go to them and whisper about the effects used, and how cheesy some of the tropes where. While he didn’t expect the same amount of chatter from Hanzo, he assumed that the behavior would be similar in some aspects.

McCree discovered that he was, in fact, very wrong in his assumptions. They sat together in the theater, but it was silent between them, save for McCree’s small gasps and the rustle of the popcorn as the sharpshooter buried his fears in butter. Hanzo chuckled when the ordeal was over, “I did not think you would be the type to get squeamish.”

“When I’d see flicks with Genji, we’d point fun at it the whole time,” Jesse grumbled as he licked butter from his finger, “I wasn’t thinkin I’d be so jumpy, felt like a man possessed.”

Hanzo made a face as McCree licked his fingers and took out an alcohol wipe, then seized McCree’s hand, “Filthy. Like a child, do you not know proper hygiene?”

Jesse leaned forward to Hanzo and grinned, “Nah, just like havin pretty boys clean me up.” he laughed when Hanzo pulled away, his grin even bigger than before, “Damn Han, you're jumpy as hell. Maybe you're the one who's affected by horror movies.” 

There was no humor in Hanzo’s rigid posture, but he relaxed after a moment and moved to the nearest trash can. There he emptied his pockets of his own candy wrappers, used up alcohol wipes, and their spent movie tickets. Jesse noted the excessive amount of candy Hanzo had eaten, and gave him a nudge in the ribs with his elbow, “You got some sweet tooth, don't ya?”

“I do not often allow myself such… such…”

“Freedoms?” Jesse offered the word to Hanzo, who took it gladly.

“Yes, freedoms. It is rare for me to ‘let loose’, as you would put it, so I decided to indulge in a craving for sweets, yes. I am rather fond of them.” It was harder for Hanzo to admit this than he thought it would be, but the small smile on his face was much easier to show, “Genji and I would often receive sweets as gifts from our father’s associates when we were children. He loves gummies, and sour candies.”

Jesse gave a small bow as he held the door for Hanzo, “What about you?”

A moment of silence passed as Hanzo thought about his preferred choice in treats. He hadn't given this though in ages, and proved to be a near impossible task. “I do not favor one above the others, though if I were forced to decide, I would say toffees are my favorites.”

“Good choice. A crunch, but light and buttery. Would have pegged you for a hard candy type though. All your seriousness has me thinkin you're a old man trapped in a young man.” Jesse poked fun at Hanzo a little as they approached the car, earning himself a stern look, followed by a punch in the arm. 

He chuckled and rubbed the sore spot Hanzo had left, holding one hand up in surrender, “Alright alright, ya ain't that old.” 

“Hmm. And how old do you think me to be?” Hanzo raised an eyebrow as he turned his key in the ignition.

This was humor, Jesse thought. Hanzo wasn’t very comfortable with him yet, he could tell, but these small gestures were something he was happy about. Even just the little things made him feel that much closer to understanding the shut-in that was Genji’s brother. He hummed a moment, counting on his fingers exaggeratedly in his head, granting him a small laugh from Hanzo, “Out with it.”

“Well first glance I’d say you’re 76,” Hanzo punched him again and chuckled more, then Jesse pushed back a little, “But ya can’t be more than 24, seein as how you’re a year older than me, an my birthday was a few weeks ago.”

Hanzo let a soft “hmm” before beginning to drive, his eyes on the road fixed to the traffic. Jesse leaned back into his seat, ready for silence, but was surprised when Hanzo took the chance to speak more. “Have you been… what is it you do again?”

“Fer a job?” McCree raised an eyebrow and waited for a nod before continuing, “Well I’m still workin at the Takhartha Library over on Nepal Drive, but I’ve been puttin in for a few photography gigs recently. Hand’s workin enough, I can shoot again.”

“You are taking pictures again?” The actual interest in Hanzo’s voice took McCree a second to register. It made Hanzo self conscious a bit, had he really been so cold before? 

He pushed the thought away as the outlaw spoke again, listening to his smooth voice. Smooth, he laughed to himself for thinking that, and pondered a moment what that meant to him. Nothing, Hanzo decided as he focused on the content of the words as opposed to the sounds. Jesse had been borrowing Angela’s small digital camera to take photos with since his release from the hospital, and while the reaction time and steadiness of the prosthetic didn’t help much with the look of the photos, it was nice to be doing what he loved again. “Are you still stuck in those stuffy suits?” Jesse smirked a bit, testing the waters of how far he could joke.

Hanzo thought of being childish a moment and sticking his tongue out, but refused and instead gave a sharp nod. “I still have yet to decide if I wish to continue the path forged for me in my father’s name or whether I will throw out this future in place of uncertainty.”

“Don’t gotta be uncertain. Figure out what you wanna do, and do it. If that’s keepin in the law empire, then do it. If it ain’t switch it up. My folks wanted me to be a cop just like them, an here I am, sharpshooter an librarian’s assistant.” McCree shrugged as he watched the road, his heart picking up as they blew through a yellow light.

“Perhaps,” was the last thing Hanzo said before they settled back into the familiar silence that often sat between them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some encouragement, a hair cut, and so many photos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes a while to write, I'm so sorry everyone. Hope the slow burn is worth the wait haha

How often was Jesse seeing Hanzo now? It felt like every day, and yet it couldn’t be because he found himself texting more than he actually got to see Hanzo. Angela was proud of him for not giving up on Hanzo, but actually pushing for them to have a friendship. She dotted his nose with whipped cream to get him to back off while she made herself coffee. Her voice was light, a smile and a soft laugh as McCree made a show of trying to lick the cream off his nose, “So, more plans with that grumpy Shimada huh?”

McCree gave up and wiped his nose, then licked his finger, a smirk on his face, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re tryin ta get rid a me.”

The medic raised and eyebrow, smiled, and shook her head, “I do enjoy you around, you know. You’re like a brother for me,” but then her smile became more accusing, and she wiggled her finger, “Although I do think these outings of yours have a secret agenda.”

“I ain’t just doin it to check in on Genji, honest!” but her face said something else, and Jesse’s face turned from worried to slightly ticked, “Hold up now-”

“You like hiiiiiim~” Angela pointed at him and shook her hips, much like any sister would do to her brother. 

“As a friend!”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“Honest! Cross my heart Ang!”

“Then why are you so red?”

They bantered for a while, until it ended with Jesse chasing Angela around their apartment. She giggled as she ran from him, screaming every now and then when he would lunge for her, but never without humor and happiness from both sides. Jesse finally caught Angela in a hug from the back and lifted her up into the air. “It ain’t like that!”

“Are you sure?” she kicked her legs out softly with a small shout in a reaction while he spun her around in the bear hug. 

When McCree set her down, Angela faced him with a smug, knowing smile, “Are you absolutely sure? You bite your lip when he texts you, giggle softly and say ‘cute’ so often I had assumed you were looking at cat videos from Zenyatta again. You’ve spent nearly every day together the past few months, be it in text or in person. And you don’t have feelings for him?”

Jesse looked away from her and Angela gasped. She clapped a little and pushed his shoulder with excitement, “You’re kidding!”

“I ain’t okay!?” he took off his hat and buried his face in it, letting out a loud groan of anger before he removed his hat and threw it on the ground, “It wouldn’t work anyhow, ain’t worth bringin up. He don’t feel the same, and I know it.”

Angela crossed her arms and leaning onto one leg, not buying it even for a moment, “Have you asked?”

There was a pause before Jesse sighed and turned around, falling backwards onto the couch and covering his face with a pillow. Angela swung his legs up and sat down, placing his legs over her lap and patting his knee. When Jesse held his hand out to her, she took it, and they sat together like this for a few minutes before Angela spoke up again. Her tone was quiet, and Jesse was so thankful for that, because he knew she was being soft just for him to help him understand that she meant every word with love. 

“I know you’re afraid, after everything that’s happened to you… there hasn’t been a good example of love between two people for you ever, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to repeat what you’ve seen,” Angela squeezed his hand, “ You have a kind heart, and I know that you are deserving of love because you give it so often. To me, to Mondatta and Zenyatta, to Genji, Ana, and now Hanzo. I know this is scary for you, and I will not push you to act on these feelings, but I do encourage it.”

Jesse’s voice came muffled against the pillow, his chest tight with anxiety. “I can't lose this… even if he never feels the same, just bein ‘round him is all I need. I'm-” he choked on his words, feeling that pang of fear run through his body, “I ain't good enough Ang.” 

At that moment Angela smacked the pillow off of McCree’s face and looked him dead in the eye. She stared him down for what felt like an eternity before speaking again, and it was clear to McCree that she had chosen her words very carefully. 

“Everyone is worth loving.” 

They stayed there for a while before Jesse sat up, breaking the eye contact. He couldn’t look at Angela anymore, not when he felt like that. When his heart was pounding in his ears and he felt the whole world spinning. Flashes of his birth mother’s angry face as she yelled at his birth father. He hit her while drunk, she took too many drugs to ease the pain. Taking out their aggressions on their child. Then Gabe and Jack, the two people who he thought would never fight. Yelling at each other more and more as Jesse grew up, sleeping over at Ana’s home because they didn't want him to see how angry they could be. The broken glass against the wall…

McCree took a few deep breaths and put his head in his hands. When Angela placed a hand on his back, he leaned into her warmth a little bit, comfort when he felt like screaming. “I can't end up like them, Ang… I can't be a monster, I'm so afraid of- I-I…” 

He fumbled with his words as he tried to keep it together, and Angela was patient. She waited for McCree to settle once more, and listened to his breathing and felt his heart rate slow down to a normal pace. “I don't want to turn out just like them. I couldn't look myself in the face if that happened.” 

“Jesse, you won't. Just by knowing that you don't want to be that way, makes it easier for you to stay away from that type of behavior.” she moved closer to him, her arm around his shoulders, the other on his arm, “You are loving and kind, not a monster at all.” 

He tilted his head to look at her. Such a soft smile, a quiet love for a friend most dear. Jesse returned her smile as best he could, and leaned his head against hers, “How'd I get the luck a havin a sis like you?” 

 

With a quiet laugh, Angela kissed the side of Jesse’s head, “The same way I was gifted a wonderful brother like you.” 

She stood up from the couch and ruffed Jesse’s hair as she walked past him. He stayed where he was, listening closely to the sounds of Angela busying herself in the kitchen. Clinking cups, running water, her quiet hum and few sung words. She called out to McCree, “So what do you like about him?” 

Everything. Jesse liked damn near everything. How at first glance, Hanzo was a stern, angry, rude son of a bitch that Jesse didn't want a damn thing to do with. How long it took for Hanzo to get comfortable with him enough to call him Jesse, how Outlaw became an endearment for when he did something stupid or “forbidden”. The longer they hung around each other, the closer Hanzo would sit or stand beside him. He became louder, laughing more, showing just who he really wanted to be. Who Hanzo really wanted to act like all the time, but was too anxious to become full time. Quick to please, but terrified of failure, Jesse noticed. Hanzo craved validation by people who held him to impossible standards, and he believed he'd never be good enough for them unless he was just like his father. That bothered McCree more than he was bothered by Hanzo when they first met. Such an amazing man was wasting his life in the path of someone else, wasting his happiness to be a man he never chose to be.

“Are you sure you like him? It's taking you an awful long time to answer me,” Angela teased Jesse as she walked back into the living room.

In her hands was another cup of coffee, this one for Jesse. He took it gladly and muttered a quiet “Thank you kindly” before taking a few sips. He stared into the dark brown pool in his cup and smirked a little, thinking that the color was similar to Hanzo’s eyes. “There's a lot I could say, Ang. He's a mighty fine man, more than just an angry face,” he looked up at her, “Tell you what though, if he ain't got the worst case a restin bitch face, I don't know who the hell does.”

Angela burst with laughter, having to sit down after a moment. She didn’t expect Jesse to deadpan that last bit after speaking so lovingly. It caught her off guard and she couldn’t hide how funny it was to her. McCree raised an eyebrow at her then put his hands up to the sides of his face. He fanned out his fingers to imitate Hanzo’s hair, then made a sour face, doing his best impression “McCree, why do you insist on doing Genji’s eyeliner every day? He is not awake to view it, you are squandering your time!” 

“You do Genji’s makeup for him!?” Angela leaned back in her spot and held her sides, rolling with laughter. 

Jesse soon joined her uproarious giggles, unable to keep the stone face for very long. With all the fun he had just poked, his heart still ached, longing to be more but too afraid to go further. But for now, for these moments talking with Angela, his heart didn’t hurt as much. It made him think that maybe, someday, he’d get the courage to tell Hanzo what he had begun to feel. 

_________________

“You’re falling behind, Hanzo. You say you’re doing your best, but are you really? That brother of yours is such a burden to care for, he's sapping you of all your funds, why not just pull the plug?” 

Hanzo grew rigid in his desk, his thumb pressed hard against the back of his pen. With his adrenaline high, he did his best to keep his emotions at minimum. “He is not a burden. Genji-”

“Wasted money in life, and now he's doing it in death. Sojiro would have cut him loose ages ago, you know this to be true.”

“My father would never have done such a thing! He loved Genji!” the pen bent forward, the metal whining with the strain.

“But do you?” 

When the pen snapped Hanzo jolted upright in his bed. He panted and looked around his room before running down the hall and found Genji in his bed, safe, the machines around him all functioning properly as well. Hanzo let go of a shaky breath and sat down on the floor just outside of Genji’s room. He pat his forehead free of sweat before he leaned back against the wall. “Do not worry Brother, I will not let them kill you. In life, or in dream. I will never stop protecting you ever again.” 

The nightmares hadn’t stopped since he brought Genji home. His guilt for the years of betrayal he’d dealt his brother were eating at him the past months since the accident, even the sight of Genji spiked his stress to a whole new level. He thought about what Jesse kept saying. “If you just act like he’s normal Genji, then you ain’t gonna worry about what happened.”

It wasn’t so simple for Hanzo to just look at his brother and think “Oh yep, that’s him.” as it was for McCree. The photographer could walk in and just have a one sided conversation about anything in the world, while the lawyer could only say a few sentences before he returned to silence. Hanzo kept thinking that perhaps he wasn’t used to being a brother anymore. He hadn’t supported Genji since they were boys, they didn’t talk much but yelled so much, and yet Genji always came back, always wanted to know how his big brother was doing. Genji had always loved him, no matter how cruel he had been, or how angry they got at each other, but Hanzo couldn’t claim the same. The Genji he knew, the one in his heart, was a short haired spunky kid who came up to their father’s knee. Pouting and following his big brother around, laughing often at things that Hanzo said. The man in the bed wasn’t that at all. He had longer hair, black and a dull green at the ends from his previous year’s rebellion. Skin scarred, body broken up and still healing, but slower and slower each day. It was like seeing a stranger in his place, the only remnants of Genji left was his name. 

Hanzo sat there in the hallway until the sun came up, his eyes heavy and tired from the lack of sleep. But there was work to do, and he wasn’t one to take a day off for anything. He laughed once as he got dressed, thinking of how often the outlaw could get him to break. No one had ever been such a demanding, no demanding wasn’t the right word, Hanzo thought. McCree wasn’t demanding so much as persistent. He took time to know the area, to plan out his moves and to enjoy his efforts. Something Hanzo admired about Jesse was how easily he could make that look. Just seconds of planning, but so well thought out and often successful. With a moment of looking at his phone, Hanzo decided to pick it up and give that outlaw a call. 

_________________________

McCree screeched and threw his phone at Angela, “Speakin of devils!”

Angela fumbled with the phone for a moment before finally grasping it in her hands. “What are you talking about?! Why are you- OH!” she turned to him and threw the phone back, “Answer it! You speak with him all the time, this should be easy!”

“Ang I always start talkin first! He ain’t never called me before, he don’t even text first!”

“First time for everything!”

“ANGIE!”

“Jesse! Just answer the phone!” she walked over and swiped the green button to pick up.

McCree just stared blankly at the phone for a moment before he heard the quiet “Hello?” due to the pause. He stuttered a moment and then lifted the phone to his ear, “Hey Han, sorry bout that, I uh- I dropped my phone.”

He gave Angela a sharp look as she held her hands together by her face and smiled widely at him. He grunted, then straightened up with a look of surprise on his face, “Nah that wasn’t at you, saw a pest near me. Would ya kindly repeat that....?” he nodded, then smiled brighter than Angela had ever seen, “I think that’s a mighty fine idea, when you wanna- oh today? Uh… one sec.”

The medic shooed her hands at him, “Whatever it is just do it! We can move our plans to tonight instead!” 

“You sure, you don't got many days off?” Jesse leaned forward to her, covering his phone receiver with his fingers.

With a few excited nods from Angela, Jesse brought the phone back to his face, “I'll be over soon… nah I can walk it, ain't a problem. You get ready, see you soon.” 

When McCree hung up, he stared at his phone for a moment before jumping off the couch and throwing his hands into the air, “He called me first!” 

Angela got up with him and clapped, mirroring his energy. He explained their plans for the day after the initial excitement wore down, and she agreed, it was a “Mighty fine” idea. They were going to cut Genji’s hair short again, like he'd always had it. Not themselves, of course. Jesse knew how to cut his own hair, but he kept it rather long and shaggy since he moved to Watchpoint, so he didn't know how effective he'd be in trying to cut Genji’s. And Hanzo? He didn't feel he would do his brother justice, and was worried he'd cut it much too professionally for Genji’s free spirited attitude. 

When Jesse got to the Shimada household this time he didn't run around trying to find , but rather walk in and announce his presence. “Hey Genji, Hanzo, I'm back!” the sharpshooter called out to the house. 

Hanzo hollered from a few rooms over that he was welcome in, and greeted McCree properly when he entered the room. McCree chuckled softly and covered his mouth before walking over to Genji and fixing what Hanzo had done. “He’s gettin a haircut, not goin to a job interview Han.”

The elder Shimada had dressed his brother in a suit, tie and all. Jesse undid the tie, pulled the shirt off over his head, and rummaged around until he found one of the graphic tees he’d seen Genji in so many times. Pachimari. Hanzo made a face at Jesse as the outlaw redressed his brother, scoffing softly, “He is going to see a professional dressed as a child?”

“You don’t have problems with me wearin this stuff, what’s so different bout Genji wearin one? He barely wore clothes as it was, y’all should be grateful I’m puttin a shirt on him.” McCree smirked at Hanzo’s scandalized reaction. All the huffing and puffing, the odd words cutting off before he could finish a sentence. He wondered how many other people had seen Hanzo like this.

He was grateful to know Hanzo wasn’t such a prick. Jesse could tell that he was still learning to be social again after so long, but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. Hanzo was easy to get along with after the initial biting, and he thought that maybe Genji had known Hanzo like this, even as adults. It was a fond thought, at least. 

When the stylist arrived, Hanzo relented control to Jesse. He pulled out his phone and showed the man a few pictures of Genji before the accident. “Don't worry bout colorin’ it. Dunno when he'll be awake to enjoy it, and lord knows we can't keep it up.” 

With a nod, the stylist went to Genji and began his work. Hanzo couldn’t watch for very long, and left the room with a grunt to signal McCree to follow. McCree excused them both as he trailed after Hanzo with a curious tilt of the head, “You doin alright there?” 

“I am… nervous.” Hanzo crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall, his eyes fixed on the floor. He drummed his fingers against the inside of his arm as he collected his thoughts, “Why do you do his makeup, but you instructed the stylist not to color his hair?”

“He had it done up every damn day,” Jesse chuckled, “Had a match? Green eyeshadow and sharp eyeliner. Finals week, silver accent marks. Study weekends, red eyeshadow and gold eyeliner. The man always wanted to make a statement.”

“And now? It is mostly eyeliner you put on him, what is the meaning behind that?” Hanzo snapped his attention to McCree, making the cowboy a little uneasy.

But McCree didn’t budge, he wouldn't let Hanzo try to push him away anymore, not when they had finally gotten close. “I ain't good at the other stuff. I got a steady hand, but past that, ain't much for the art of makeup. You ‘member when I tried to put blush on him? Genji’s face was bright red.” 

At the memory, Hanzo huffed a laugh. McCree held his gaze on Hanzo’s mouth as the smirk he wore turned into a smile. It sent a chill through him, his heart pounding for a moment before he turned back to look into the room. Not yet, not when it could ruin everything. He touched the back of his neck and whistled low when he turned back to Hanzo, “It’s lookin good so far, more like him. None a that wild stranger anymore… hang on now-”

“I shave his face every day.” the elder brother huffed, a small pink tint hitting his cheekbones as he scowled at the stylist, “He does not enjoy facial hair, cried the first time he had to shave because ‘it isn’t fair Anija’... as rebellious with his look as he always has been, Genji does not like the upkeep of facial hair and prefers it gone.”

McCree bit the inside of his cheek while he thought. He kept his sideburns pretty scruffy, thought about growing a beard a few times a week but always ended up shaving it every morning out of muscle memory. “You ever had the baby face thing when you shaved? I get that if I go too far up, look like I’m 17 again.”

Hanzo absently touched his chin, feeling the coarse hair there and humming quietly as he thought. “I once had a girlfriend who insisted I shave, she was not fond of how it felt to kiss me. I nearly went though with it, but chose otherwise in the end. I felt it made me stand apart, a difference between myself and my family, though it is normal for Shimada men to have facial hair. Still, I felt more myself with it than without. I swiftly parted ways with her for many reasons, she was…” he chuckled and tilted his head toward Jesse, “As you would say, she was a Robert Ford.”

With a snort, Jesse choked on a laugh, “A bastard.” 

This news bothered Jesse however. Girlfriend, one word had ruined his chances of anything more with Hanzo, and he couldn’t help but lose his laugh quicker than normal. Hanzo narrowed his eyes to Jesse and looked about to speak, but the stylist came out and asked the two for an opinion before he decided that Genji was finished. At this, Hanzo deferred to McCree and insisted he be the judge. “You know him better than I do at this point, who am I to say what he would find fitting.” 

With careful hands, Jesse held Genji’s head in his hands and inspected the handy work. Sharp angles, soft top with texture, no more green ends. Short, just how it always had been. Jesse’s lips became a gentle smile as he placed Genji back against the pillow. “Fine job you did, thank you kindly.”

Hanzo paid the man, and showed him out as he thanked him for the efforts. When he returned, Hanzo smirked at Jesse, “Eyeliner again?”

“Man has standards. Clean shave, sharp eyes. Can’t stop just cause he has new hair,” Jesse wasn’t doing it for Genji this time, but himself. To focus on anything else other than Hanzo, other than that word. It was just a crush, but it still hurt to know he’d never have that chance. McCree straightened up once he was done with the eyeliner and kept his head down, “Alright, I’ll be seein you later Genji.”

“Do you have to go so soon?” Hanzo’s voice caught Jesse of guard. It had a waiver to it, as if he didn’t want the photographer to leave just yet. He moved forward a few small steps before he stopped and turned away, back to look at Genji, “I will not force you to stay, you may go if you choose.” 

“Do you… want me here?” Jesse cocked his head to the side as he spoke, confused with Hanzo once again, “Somethin goin on Han? You worried?”

When Hanzo turned back he looked ready to bite off McCree’s head, but stilled himself with a low hiss of a sigh. “A moment, please.” 

The sharpshooter shifted his weight onto the other foot to give his knee a rest as Hanzo figured out his words. He didn't want to rush him, but Jesse wasn't much for standing around, and began to get antsy in the silence. Then, Hanzo lifted his head and spoke again, this time his words calculated and precise. “You are acting strangely, different from just moments ago. I do not like it, nor do I understand what I have done to deserve this new behavior. I wish to know better, so that we can avoid falling back into past habits.” 

Jesse blinked, he was caught off guard by the accurate assumption, and for a moment he didn't know what else to do but stutter and stop his sentences until the idea formed. It wasn't a good one, and he regretted the words as soon as he spoke them. “I didn't peg you as straight.” 

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Jesse red in the face with embarrassment, Hanzo shocked to hell, his lips parted slightly with a quiet gasp. When McCree started to raise his hands in surrender and shield before himself, Hanzo burst out with a laugh so loud, it reminded Jesse of Genji. 

The elder brother held his sides and looked away from Jesse once more, this time he was the one embarrassed. “I am not ‘straight’, Jesse. I did not stay with her for many reasons, the biggest being her temperament. However, it was with her that I discovered I prefer the company of men, and this played another key part in my decision. The family was not pleased by this and ordered me to keep it quiet, but I trust you would not ruin my reputation with such things. Would you have been bothered if I had been straight?” 

McCree could feel his heart pounding in his chest, a ringing in his ears. The company of men. Jesse thought about telling him again, this time with demand for action, but he swallowed his feelings once again. If he wanted to keep his orientation a secret, Jesse wasn’t going to try and start anything, but it did make him feel better that he wasn’t totally off limits just yet. “Nah, not a bother, it just wasn't what I was thinkin, but you know… glad to know we ain't so different from one another.” 

“I see. This must mean that you and the doctor are not together then, or am I to assume that you are like Genji?”

“Like Genji?”

“Bisexual.”

Jesse hadn’t known that about Genji, but it made sense now that it was on his mind. The way he had always held himself, how he could easily flirt with anyone he pointed out to McCree as “a cutie”, made Jesse wonder how he hadn’t seen it sooner. But the more important information at the moment was now in Jesse’s hands, and he looked at Hanzo with his heart in his throat and butterflies in his stomach. “Angela’s like my sister, couldn’t date her even if she was my type. I’m more into business men these days.”

At least it was a laugh, and not something worse. Jesse chuckled back at Hanzo and shook his head. Even saying it out loud, Hanzo didn’t understand how Jesse felt. The elder Shimada composed himself after a moment, his sides hurting like they hadn’t in what he assumed had been a decade. “You will stay then, yes?”

“Sure Han.”

“Good, I would like to show you something.”

This piqued McCree’s interest, and he followed Hanzo through the house. They stopped at a door that Jesse hadn’t seen yet, and Hanzo pointed at him with a stern look. “This is my room. You are not allowed in here without me, do you understand?”

Jesse crossed his heart with his finger and raised his hands, “Cross my head, hope to die.”

“A foolish thing to hope for,” Hanzo mumbled as he opened the door and pushed his way inside.

It was messier than McCree had expected. Photos on the walls, some crooked, papers on every flat surface possible, other pairs of shoes in one corner, and a few cast off pieces of clothing stroon about the floor. The bed was made, crisp edges and pajamas folded on the edge of the bed. Neat, a little cluttered, but Jesse had a feeling that this was a disaster area to Hanzo. The law man rounded his bed and reached underneath to pull out a small box. Black, a gift box, roughly the size of a lunchbox. Jesse raised an eyebrow with a curious grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Whatcha go there?”

“A gift, for you.” Hanzo kept his eyes on the box as he walked back over to Jesse, then stretched his arms to hold it between them.

Jesse pushed the box back, his face red, “Ah Hanzo you don’t-”

“I insist. Take it.” When Hanzo’s determined look hit Jesse, it felt like his heart was going to stop.

Gently, afraid of what the gift meant, Jesse removed the lid, and dropped it as soon as he saw the contents. Jesse shook his head and swallowed hard, his hand trembling as he took the camera from the box and held it. He bit his lip and looked it over, then placed it back where it came from, “You gotta take it back.”

“And why is that?” Hanzo took the camera back out of the box, powered it up, and raised it to his face, taking a few pictures of Jesse as the outlaw tried to shield himself from the lens, “It works, it is industry standard, and-”

“That’s why Han, it’s industry! That’s a three thousand dollar camera, I can’t-”

“You will.” Hanzo took another picture with the camera and handed it to McCree once again, this time dropping the box so he couldn’t put it down. He pushed it into McCree’s hands, forcing him to hold onto it, “It is my fault your first camera has broken. Take this, it is for you.”

Jesse shook his head slowly as he looked through the photos already on the camera. The few of him, a couple shots of the backyard, and a handful of shots of Genji. With a tough swallow, Jesse raised the camera up to Hanzo and took a few shots, “I don’t blame you for none of that. Genji wouldn’t either, and you know it.”

Every few days they had the same circle argument, going back and forth as to why the accident wasn’t Hanzo’s fault, and why Hanzo thought it was. In the end, they always settled on a draw, both sides too stubborn to give up their side, but not wanting to fight with each other anymore. This time, Hanzo put his hands on Jesse’s shoulders and squeezed, “This is why you need to take that camera. You are a good man, a man who nearly lost his passion and still sees no fault in the man who caused his misfortune. At least, not anymore, “a chuckle escaped him, thinking about their first weeks of knowing one another, “Jesse, take the camera.”

Jesse. He wanted to hear Hanzo say it again. His name, not with anger or annoyance, but with a soft smile and some kind of happiness. Hanzo dropped his hands from Jesse’s shoulders and folded his arms over his chest with a tilt of his head. He looked out his bedroom window and nodded, “It is still overcast, we should go test your skills, see if you are still worth of the title ‘Photographer’.”

They bantered back and forth as they walked down the street to the nearby park. Oasis was just how it sounded, a little get away in the middle of the busy city. People often came to Watchpoint just to see its parks and wildlife, with Oasis being a tourist destination for several decades now. Jesse made his way over to the ponds first thing. It had been a long time since he had done any wildlife photography, and was excited to see if he could still take those quick shots. He started off with just point and shoot, getting the feeling for the new equipment he was working with: both arm and camera. Satisfied with his warm up, he moved on to rough set ups. Jesse wrapped the camera strap around his wrist and got down beside the water on his belly. He had a pair of ducks in his sights, bobbing in the gentle current of the pond as they paddled along. 

Hanzo watched McCree from the bridge, his mind wandering to earlier once again. The laughing had been reflexive, not dismissive as it had come across as. He kneaded the inside of his lip with between his teeth with a scowl and huffed a breath through his nose in his own annoyance. Hanzo hadn’t been nervous in years, at least not in a way that would make him laugh like that, and it bothered him that a cowboy country bumpkin- Hanzo took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts once again. Even with Jesse not being able to hear his thoughts, he didn’t want to think about him angrily, it wasn’t fair to either of them. Still, as he watched the outlaw take his photos happily, Hanzo couldn’t help but have ugly thoughts every now and then. Jesse had easily chosen what he loved and continued with it for his career, while Hanzo had never been given that choice. 

“Hey Han, think I just got the best photo of you in your life,” McCree gave a cheeky grin and he got up off his stomach and started flicking through his photos to find the one he wanted to share.

The law man let out a soft “hmm” as the other approached, and leaned in close to see what he had to offer when he returned to his side. “I did not know the camera had black and white functionality.”

“Got a load a tricks, makes editin and such a heap easier. Anyone ever tell you you got a face for black and white? Holds up that regial thing you got goin for you,” Jesse zoomed in on Hanzo’s face in the photo and smiled softly, “You look like you’re thinkin real hard. Somethin on your mind?”

“Mmm…” Hanzo leaned forward onto the railing and looked down at the water. He watched the koi for a few moments, and found comfort when Jesse leaned his back against the rail beside him. Patient, and waiting for a response. “I do not wish to be a lawyer any longer.”

McCree smiled a little more and hummed as he elbowed Hanzo softly with encouragement, “What do you want to be then?”

“Passionate,” he inhaled slowly, closed his eyes, and let it out, “I wish to have a freedom such as yours, and as Genji’s, a passion I can follow and know that my happiness will continue with it. Law is crushing, demanding, painful. You often let bad men go free, and it weighs on your soul for eternity… I wish to do something I love.”

But what did he love anymore? Hanzo chewed his lip again and glared down at the fish below. They disrupted the surface every now and then with bubbles, a stray tail flick, the occasional jump to catch a low flying bug. This was here Hanzo had been told Genji was to be born, where he changed from a son to a brother. Their father had said it was his turn to become a mighty dragon like the koi. “It will be a hard path, being the eldest is no simple task. You must protect him, he will depend on your guidance to make the right decisions in life.” 

At the time, Hanzo thought those words meant to follow in the path given to him, and show Genji the proper way, the Shimada way, but looking back at it now, he was very wrong. The right decisions had always been made by Genji when it came to his happiness. Genji reached for his desires, his dreams, he never settled for what had been laid out before him because it wasn’t what he had wanted. Hanzo looked at Jesse from the corner of his eye so as not to take the cowboy’s attention away from his camera. If Hanzo was going to change his life so drastically, perhaps he could be happy in all his paths, not just his career path. 

“A tea shop sounds nice.” Hanzo said quietly when he turned his gaze back to the fish below.

“A mighty fine idea,” Jesse hummed his happiness, and took another photo.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in the blink of an eye. Maybe too much. But for now, that can't be a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update so soon?! Yes! Thanks to a few close friends I've had a lot of inspiration and a hell of a lot less stress. Props to my homies for helping me through a very rough patch. Here you go, the 5th Chapter!

While Jesse loved the convenience of digital film, but he had missed developing in a dark room more than he cared to admit. In the red glow of the lights, he processed a few shots he had taken with an older camera that Mondatta had let him borrow. The process was soothing, and with so much going on it was nice to escape for a moment. Jesse had found himself a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from the library, and over the summer, moved out of Angela’s living room and had made himself cozy. It was relatively small, but it suited him nicely, he liked to think. 

A futon, small kitchen, shower, and a window overlooking Castillo park just across the street. He had bought a small nightstand, two drawers, and put almost his entire life inside it. On the other side, he had a desk stacked with envelopes full of prints ready to ship out and make their way to people who wanted them, and the laptop he’d been gifted from the Tekhartha brothers as a housewarming gift. When he moved, he hadn’t bothered to tell Hanzo about it, but that had caused some trouble between the two of them. Jesse didn’t understand what the big deal had been, but for Hanzo it struck a chord. 

“Why did you not let me assist you? I could have been of use!” Jesse shook his head, trying to get Hanzo’s angry words out of the loop they had been spiraling in, “Are you ashamed to have me see how you live?”

With a roll of his shoulders, Jesse submerged another photo and took a step back. He hadn’t been ashamed, it just wasn’t a lot of stuff. A milk crate, a backpack, and the new furniture he had bought was delivered. Jesse had walked to his apartment carrying his worldly possessions, it wasn’t some grand trip that took multiple runs. Jesse thought about calling him again and apologizing, but the voicemail was getting very full. He looked at his phone, glared, and hit call, voicemail be damned.

“Hanzo Shimada.”

“Don’t you fuckin hang up,” McCree growled, “We need to talk.”

“I do not wish to speak.”

“Good!” Jesse’s whole body was tense, but it had been long enough. He wanted his friend back, he wanted Hanzo back, “I got plenty enough for the both of us. Han, I don’t get why you’ve been ghostin me. Won’t even let me in to see Genji, I don’t understand any a this. We were gettin somewhere, friends, hell I-” he shook his head, now wasn’t the time, he needed to get the friendship back more than anything else “I’m invested in you, why you think I’ve been leavin so many calls? Sure I didn’t ask you to help me move, but it wasn’t a lot! It was a fist full a shit Han! I didn’t see a point in makin you take a day off when I-”

Hanzo’s voice cut through rough, painful sounding, “It was not the move. I was… I… I have been searching of excuses to push you away. To keep you from getting closer than I allow.”

“What's so wrong with bein close? Ain't that the point a friends, bein close to each other?” Jesse paced circles around his development table, minding the timing of the shots while they spoke.

“I am not to indulge in the world of men, Outlaw. I will lose-”

“Me. You'll lose me,” Jesse pulled the photos and pinned them. He was thankful to be doing something with his hands at the time, or the conversation would have been a lot harder to swallow. “You'd only lose me… do I really mean so little to ya Han?”

The silence made McCree want to scream, but he was patient, just as he always had been. Hanzo spoke again softly after so long, his voice strained with anxieties left unspoken. “You mean a great deal to me… it is why you must forget me. Forget my brother. Do what is best for you, and forget the Shimada name.”

“Genji died. Didn't he?” 

That had to be it. The pain, the pushing away, not letting Jesse visit. There was a drop in McCree’s stomach when he spoke, he didn't want to believe his own words, and he was terrified that Hanzo would confirm them. 

But he didn't. Hanzo caught his breathing becoming quicker, and held it in for a moment. He closed his eyes and leaned over the counter in his home, his free hand gripping the counter hard. “May I come to you? I feel this news will not take over the phone.”

“Yes- Hanzo… what's goin on with you?” Jesse’s heart pounded against his chest. 

The sadness in Hanzo’s voice left him on edge, but when the law man offered no explanation, simply that he would explain when they were together, it made the wait even worse. They met at Oasis Park later in the evening, the bridge still fresh in Jesse’s mind as he made his way out there. That had been the last time they'd seen each other in person, after that Hanzo had grown more and more distant, until eventually they had their fight. Hanzo was there, leaning over the railing and looking into the water below. When McCree stopped beside him, Hanzo didn't look up or move, simply took a deep breath and let his shoulders drop. 

“You have questions. Let me speak before you ask them.” Hanzo shifted his weight to the other foot and let his remaining breath out, sat up straight, and turned to face McCree. 

“Genji is not dead. He is still healthy, recovering… his hand twitched yesterday, it is an improvement. I asked you to forget us, because it is no longer safe for you to be near us. The family-”

Jesse reached out and put a hand on Hanzo’s shoulder. The elder Shimada hadn't noticed he was shaking, and gave an appreciative nod as he continued to speak, facing the water once again, “I told our family of my plan to leave the law firm and allow them to take command. I told them I had been speaking with a friend,” he nodded his chin up at McCree,” with you. I wished to let go of my past mistakes, and to allow myself freedoms I had not taken.”

“And what did they say to that, seems pretty damn reasonable to me,” McCree folded his arms and braced himself at the hip on the railing. 

“They gave me a choice: let my brother die and leave the family, or stay and allow Genji to live. They did not agree with your influence on either of us, and if I did not drive you away, they would,” Hanzo swallowed hard and took a moment to calm himself, feeling his anger spike, “I could not stand to lose you on someone else's terms, so I began to push once again. If I lost you on my own, it would be better.”

When Hanzo looked back to Jesse, he pushed his shoulder with a snap, “Do not look so smugly upon me! What have you to be smug about, a death threat!?” 

“You like me,” Jesse chuckled and held his shoulder where Hanzo had pushed, the spot sore, “like me enough to sneak out an see me when folks want us apart. Pardon me for bein smug, but you're pettin my ego like a purrin cat.” 

“I will drown you.” 

“So long as it's on your terms huh?” 

“Outlaw desist!” Hanzo swatted at Jesse with annoyance, but there was no anger toward him. Concern, worry, guilt. The law man grabbed the outlaw by the shirt and brought them nose to nose, “How can you be so calm when I have told you that if you are seen with me, you'll be targeted and killed?”

Jesse butted his head forward and pressed his forehead against Hanzo’s to make him look, to see his words and know he meant them. “It makes no difference to me if I get targeted for bein there for you and Genji. Y'all are important to me, I ain't letting you go for nothin, that's a promise.”

“Your face is red…” with a sharp breath, Hanzo didn't look away from Jesse, and he didn't dare blink, not with how close they were, with how easily he could reach out. 

“Happens to the best of us,” Jesse chuckled and held his hands over Hanzo’s before pulling them from his shirt and taking a step back. He released the law man and touched the back of his own neck with a little nervousness, “The short of it is you ain't losin me. And we ain't lettin them kill Genji. Now, how they even doin that?”

“Quit-” he cleared his throat, a pink tint on his cheekbones, “The family would stop helping me pay for the medical expenses. Genji is hemorrhaging money, the life support and in home nurses are too much. They keep him alive because I am making them good money and upholding the Shimada name. Their perfect image.” 

McCree couldn't help but smile at the small bit of blush on Hanzo’s face. Made him feel good about his actions. But the following words made him scowl with anger. He bit the inside of his cheek and turned his head up to the night sky, “We can find a work around for all that. Throwin out a life, especially their family, I ain't lettin it happen. Angela, she would take care a Genji, I'm sure. Even if she wasn't gettin paid. Life support… mmm… I'll handle that.”

“How will you-”

“I'll handle it.”

“Jesse,” there it was again. His name, softly, with care. Hanzo caught his eye when he moved, and hesitated to reach out, but settled deft fingers on Jesse's arm, “You do not have to do this. We will be fine, I can take care of him alone. I should not have tried to change my path, these repercussions are mine to carry.” 

Without that same hesitation, Jesse put his hand over Hanzo’s, but didn't look at him. He couldn't, he knew his eyes would betray those feelings he wanted to stay hidden. “You ain't doin this alone. We can figure it out together.” 

“Stubborn man.”

“I can say the same to you, Han.” 

________________________

Mondatta pressed his hands together in a constant state of worry. He paced the room, circling around the group. “We can go to jail.”

“And Genji could die.” Angela stood up from her chair and crossed to Mondatta, “Please,it's going to take all of us to get him out. Jesse and Hanzo’s plan can't work without you.” 

“No, no if Mondatta don’t want to, I ain’t gonna force him into this. It’s not easy, it could get us in hot water, and if he ain’t comfortable with the plan, that’s good enough for me.” McCree chewed the end of a pen and flipped over and over the pages in his hand. He growled and pushed his hat back with the pen, his frown deepening, “Fuck though, it’s gonna be hard.”

Hanzo put his hand on Jesse’s shoulder with a sigh and stood up, “I was right, this is not the way. I will-”

Jesse grabbed Hanzo and pulled him back down onto the table beside him without looking up from the papers. He didn’t look away from their plan and returned the pen to between his teeth. Hanzo blinked for a moment before settling in closer to Jesse, a little put-out looking, but not argumentative at that moment. Angela raised an eyebrow at Zenyatta and Mondatta, then looked back at the two on the table as if to ask, “Are you seeing this?” When either monk offered only a shrug, she huffed and went to grab the papers from Jesse’s hands to look them over once more. 

“The gist is still get in, get Genji, get out, yes? Well… Jesse, this isn’t your best plan, it looks like-” she shut her mouth when she saw his tired, angry look, and handed him back the papers, “Alright, tell me then, how are we doing this now?”

“Robbery…” Hanzo said quietly, sitting up a little straighter at Jesse’s side,” What if it was a robbery?”

McCree snapped the pen between his teeth and spit ink. He had caught himself off gurad this time, the sudden idea sparking him to life and getting him off the table top and onto his feet. He looked at Hanzo and grabbed his shoulders, shaking them a little with a broad smile, “You stay there, Ang, Zen, and I go in, get Genji, and haul out quick as a jackrabbit. We trash it up a bit, you act like you weren’t able to stop us, we’re in the clear.”

“We will absolutely go to jail for that!” Mondatta huffed and put his hands on Zenyatta’s shoulders to hold his little brother a tad closer, “Jesse McCree, no matter how we spin this, it’s kidnapping and robbery, we will be caught eventually! I know how much you love Genji, do not forget that I have been there for you and him for many years, but this is not what he would have wanted you to do. In your heart, you know this. Now think, you’re a smart man, figure out a way that does not involve your precious lives to be wasted behind bars.”

It was a bother to say the least. With Genji trapped in The Shimada house, there was no way for Hanzo to be free as long as they were holding his brother hostage. Hanzo’s freedom rested with Genji, and it drove Jesse up the wall. How could they do that to either of them, to force one brother to stay trapped or to kill the other to be free? “It’s like they want him to- To Die!”  
“Yes, that is what they said. McCree, it was not right of me to ask this of… why do you look like that?” Hanzo raised an eyebrow at the outlaw, it seemed Jesse’d always be a mystery to him. 

“What if we killed Genji?” when Hanzo reared back his hand and looked ready to end McCree’s life at the mention, he flinched down and jumped back with a hollar, “Not for real ya beast! I’m sayin they can’t keep you there if they think Genji is dead, and with him outta the house, he might actually get the chance a recoverin quicker. And then, none of us are goin to jail for it. When he wakes up, we can get him a new name and call it slick.”

“Life support.” Hanzo barked, a small snap in his voice as he lowered his fist.

“I will have to take it back to the hospital, no? Things get misplaced all the time, I’m sure it won’t be a problem for me. But Jesse,” Angela wiped ink from Jesse’s mouth with a tissue, making him pull away like a little kid before she grabbed his chin and kept dabbing, “Where do you plan on keeping him? Hanzo will be living in the family home for a while longer I presume, my apartment is too small, and yours is a shoe box. He can’t stay in the library-”

At this, Zenyatta spoke up with an excitement in his voice, “ Yes he can! He can go in that conference room we never use. We can put up curtains that say it’s under development, no one will go in. Angela won’t be under suspicion, she come in all the time, as does McCree.”

McCree’s smile turned from Hanzo to Mondatta, his body relaxing a little, “Now Han, he’s gonna be makin his own business soon anyhow. What better place than the library to research that whole mess?”

Mondatta shook his head, looking at the small group before resigning himself to the plan. He had a bad feeling, but this course of action wasn’t as likely to get them all killed as the others had been. He took a deep breath and released his brother’s shoulders, “I suppose I would do the same for you, Zenyatta. Very well, let us take this path and see where it leads us.”

________________________

He had to admit, seeing Angela act like that was much more heartbreaking than he thought it would be. She pet Genji’s head softly, placing her forehead on his before she sat up and wiped tears from her eyes. Angela looked over at McCree, then to Hanzo. They nodded at her, and she began disconnecting the power. It was risky, there was no telling if Genji would wake up once he was safely in the library, but they took him as quickly as they could without raising suspicion from the other Shimadas watching. As they loaded Genji into the back of the ambulance, Hanzo stood by the front door with anger in his face and a lump in his throat. He reached out and hauled the closest Shimada to his face, his scowl deep and tortured. 

“I am taking Genji’s account, his belongings, everything about him. You will not speak his name, nor mine, unless you wish to die by my hand. I will be disconnecting from you, and taking with me the Shimada name and all that comes with it. You will not follow, or make any movement against my future, do I make myself clear?” Hanzo pulled his other arm back, ready to strike if needed. 

The other nodded quickly, holding Hanzo’s arm as he trembled, “Y-yes, young Master. We will do the paperwork immediately, n-no need to get physical!”

McCree watched Hanzo in the mirror as they drove away, his mouth dry and ears red. Angela smacked him in the chest as she drove, sirens on to run red lights and get to the library as soon as possible. “What was that in the library yesterday when we were making our plans!? Hanzo was leaning on you, he was blushing, what happened between you two!”

“Ow hey- Don’t you hit me, ya coulda just said somethin,” Jesse rubbed his chest and pouted at her, then cleared his throat and looked back out the window, “Ain’t nothin happened. Wish it had, but he’s just bein friendly, lettin me take the reins on this an’ all.”

“Jesse he likes you! Dense, dense man, how do you not see that? You’re so smart Jesse McCree, how are you blind when it comes to him?” the doctor took a turn a little too sharp, getting her friend to yelp a little in distress, “When we have Genji all set up, and this whole thing is over, you better talk to him, or I’m going to do it for you.”

“Ang-”

“I mean it.”

He bit his lip and looked in back, making sure Genji was okay. Zenyatta and Mondatta looked frazzled, eyes wide and limbs rigidly holding Genji in place on the gurney. Zenyatta tensed his shoulders and looked McCree dead in the eye, “Dr. Zeigler is going to give me a heart attack.”

Angela lifted her hand and pointed into the back, not taking her eyes off the road for a moment, “You are more likely to die from choking on water than from my driving. Now be quiet everyone these turns are getting tight.”

Hanzo met them at the library a few hours later. The sun had begun it’s descent, the sky turning red in the haze of twilight. Jesse waved at him from the roof of the library and called down to him, “He made it, you go check on him. I’ll be up here if you need me.”

The library had been closed for the day, and Hanzo realized just how spacious the place was without folks from town inside. He could tell why the monks liked it so much, it reminded him of a temple he had once visited as a boy. In the back corner he saw the newly curtained room, and picked up his pace going for it. Angela was beside Genji when Hanzo arrived. She had him hooked up to considerably fewer machines, which came as a shock to the elder brother. Before Hanzo could ask, he noticed it. Genji’s chest was moving, he was breathing on his own. Angela smiled at Hanzo softly as he wandered forward and set his hand on Genji’s chest, feeling the rise and fall of the sleeping man. “How could this be?”

“It may have been the sharp turns, something jostling him in the right way, but there’s no way to be certain. This is a huge step in the right direction, however. The fewer things we have to force, the less we have to worry about Genji staying comatose. Jesse tells me that you saw his hand move?” Angela held her pen from writing and looked up to Hanzo, awaiting his response.

“Yes, a twitch really. He made his hand into a fist, and uncurled it moments later.” the elder brother couldn’t take his eyes off of the younger, watching him breath on his own, seeing less machine and more man. Hanzo felt tears prick the corners of his eyes, and wiped them away quickly. Whether it was from remaining unblinking for too long, or from overwhelming joy, he couldn’t tell. 

The doctor wrote quickly and with a bright smile, radiant and hopeful once again. “He must have been dreaming, another good sign. Brain functions are restoring, however slowly, they are repairing and he has a fighting chance.”

“A moment alone, please.” Hanzo’s voice was quiet and still showed signs of disbelief.

With a nod, Angela left the room and the brothers. When she was gone, Hanzo collapsed almost immediately. He sunk down to his knees and held his brother’s hand as his other covered his mouth to keep from being heard. He shook, every emotion too much at that moment, and he wished to be able to push it down and stay composed. Hanzo let himself feel everything though, he didn’t hide from it, and let his body cry. He sobbed, choked, but he was happy. Genji had a chance at a life again, it was something to celebrate and cry over. When he could feel he had control again, Hanzo stood up and looked at his brother with a shaking bottom lip and tense shoulders. “You will be strong again. Just as when we were boys, I will teach you to walk, to talk, I will bring you to my side, and this time… Brother, this time I will not fail you.”

On the roof, Hanzo found McCree looking into the park below and following the last lights of the sunset. He stood at the edge, his arms folded in front of him and resting on the cool concrete ledge. To Hanzo’s surprise, there was a cigar between Jesse’s lips. The outlaw chewed on the end a little, smoke lazily drifting off the edge. When Hanzo appeared beside him, Jesse took the cigar between his fingers and gave him a warm smile, “You look like shit.”

Hanzo punched McCree’s shoulder with a snorted laugh, and joined him in leaning against the ledge. “I thought you did not smoke, what is this?”

“Not cigarettes. I have a cigar every now and then, celebration of sorts. My dad-,” McCree shook his head once, his smile fading a little, “It’s a family tradition of sorts, folks used to have a cigar on holidays or special events. Thought I told you that back at the hospital when you gave me that nasty blue cigarette?”

“Perhaps you did. As I recall, I did not care for you then,” Hanzo jested, elbowing McCree in the side, “Not as I do now.”

“Shucks Han, you’re makin me blush,” Jesse chuckled and returned the elbow with a knock of his hip into Hanzo’s. “I like you too, you turned out to be a damn good man.”

As the last drags of red disappeared below the tree tops, McCree let out a low sigh. His heart pounded, Angela’s words from the drive over rang in his head like an alarm. He had a lump in his throat, hot, painful, impossible to swallow and keep speaking. With a forced chuckle to try and clear his throat, McCree flicked the end of his cigar to get the ash off and did his best to not sound so strained. 

“You been cryin, that happy or sad?” his voice cracked a little, and he was thankful Hanzo didn’t catch at it like he would have in any other situation.

“Happiness, I believe. Your doctor friend, Angela, she tells me that Genji is going to recover sooner than she ever thought. His brain is still alive, he’s breathing on his own rather well. Given more time, and proper care, he could be awake within the next year. While I am hopeful for this, I do not want to hold out too much on the idea. There is no rushing recovery.” Hanzo wiped his eyes again, a few stray tears catching him. He didn’t feel embarrassed by this though, not in front of McCree. Quietly, Hanzo spoke again, only for McCree this time, “Thank you.”

McCree lowered his head closer to Hanzo’s to hear him better, and mimicked the soft tone. He was unsure of why the other had gotten so quiet, but it concerned him a little, especially with how few times he had ever seen Hanzo show any kind of emotion this much. “Why you thankin me? I ain’t done nothing special.”

A low hum escaped Hanzo, the soft “hmm” followed by a smile just as delicate. “Not every person would fight so much to see the happiness of others, and certainly not fight so hard to become friends with someone who is such a cruel man-”

“You’re not cruel,” Jesse put his hand on Hanzo’s shoulder and turned him so they were facing one another. He looked into Hanzo’s eyes with earnest intention, and let his heart speak, “You… Hanzo, you’re a good man. Sometimes you- we forget that about ourselves, we can only see the shit we’ve done in our past, an’ we forget to look at now. We don’t let ourselves be happy because we think it ain’t worth the shot, that the pain is just gonna stay. You deserve to be happy Han, you’re good, even when you don’t see it.”

He dropped his cigar at their feet, and for a moment, Jesse swore he had died of shock. Hanzo’s movements had been swift, but carried a gentleness, a fear with them as he moved forward. His hands went to either side of Jesse’s face, his fingers brushing through the coarse hair and held Jesse in place as their lips met. Jesse was stiff in his place for all of three seconds, and when Hanzo went to pull away, the outlaw surged forward and put his arms tight around the other man’s waist. He felt Hanzo’s forehead against his, knotted and angry, but the way Hanzo pushed closer, he knew that wasn’t anger. When they parted, Hanzo tasted smoke on his lips and felt heat wash over his entire body. Jesse’s eyes were half lidded, dumbstruck but happy as could be. He felt drunk, and swayed a little as he loosened his grip on Hanzo’s shirt. 

Jesse grinned and let his hands hover over Hanzo’s hips, holding him gently. Hanzo’s hands too stayed on McCree. They slid from his face and down his throat, resting on his chest where Hanzo felt his heart beat in his palms. Strong, fast, and beating that way for him, for what he had just done. He could not look at Jesse, not just yet. His face was red, undignified, Hanzo knew Jesse wouldn’t care, he was seeing him that very moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up. The outlaw leaned forward and pressed a silent kiss on Hanzo’s forehead and rest his chin on top, effectively hiding Hanzo from his view. Jesse closed his eyes and hummed softly, swaying a little as Hanzo pulled closer and set his head in the hollow of his neck. 

“Didn’t know you liked me too.”

Hanzo chuckled softly, his voice a gentle whisper still, “You are hard not to like after a while. An outlaw, charming and dangerous.”

“Charming huh? I always thought you found me annoying,” Jesse teased, moving his arms from Hanzo’s waist to around his shoulders.

“You are annoying,” he said as he too readjusted, arms hanging loosely around McCree’s back, Hanzo held his wrist to keep himself in place there, not wanting to part, not wanting to realize just how starved for this attention he had been for so long. Hanzo huffed, returning to his gruff voice, despite the redness in his cheeks, “Even as annoying as you are, it appears you have managed to get my attention.”

“That’s pretty damn lucky for me then, you’ve had mine for a while now.”

They talked well into the night, moving from their standing positions to sitting on the roof leaning back on one another to see the stars. For McCree, he knew he had liked Hanzo at the beginning of the summer, over four months ago now. There was a day when they had been walking back from the store, and the way Hanzo spoke of the ridiculously priced fruit had been the first time Jesse remembered his heart speeding up when he thought of Hanzo. The former law man bit the inside of his lip, pink across his cheekbones once again as he told his knowing moment. 

It was the night Jesse had yelled at him that he shouldn’t try to be his friend for Genji’s sake, but for his own. The way he had demanded better of him, Hanzo hadn’t had that in a long time, and the feelings continued to grow, until he couldn’t hold them away anymore. Jesse hadn’t noticed at all, but Hanzo hadn’t noticed his feelings either. He smiled and held Hanzo’s hand, feeling the warmth from his palm reach into the cold of his skin. He didn't want to let go.

“Genji is going to be so confused when he wakes up.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncertainty, a learning curve, and some late night escapades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support, here's another chapter to tide everyone over while I take a break from writing and get back to my harder work. 
> 
> Don't worry! This one won't be a half year long. Paper Boats will resume weird, semi regular updates soon.

Things always seemed to start roughly for McCree, he didn't understand why he thought this time would be different. Perhaps it was that he wanted it to be easy so badly, but it wasn't, it never had been. Still, he wasn't going to let go, not this time, not ever again. 

Hanzo had avoided him for two days after the rooftop. Even in the library, they weren't in the same room long, Hanzo always got up and left soon after McCree entered. Ever now and then Jesse would reach out with a text, and Hanzo would reply each time. He wasn’t too worried, he knew it wasn’t out of anger that Hanzo avoided him. It was Angela that brought it up first, during one of Genji's check ups no less. 

She pointed the end of her pen at McCree and huffed, a strand of golden hair floating in the air a moment before settling on the other side of her face. “He shouldn't treat you like this, he is the one who kissed you after all. Hanzo has no right leading you on like this.” 

But Jesse couldn't help the smile on his face as he peaked out behind a curtain to watch Hanzo read. It was a western, Dead Man’s Walk, a classic. “Hanzo hates westerns.” 

“I beg your pardon?” Angela tilted her head, perplexed by his statement.

“When we first met, Han said he hated westerns, books about cowboys. You know,” He tipped his hat with a chuckle, “My favorites? Well, why would he be readin a western if he hated them?”

“A change in taste.”

“Studyin, he wants to understand me better Ang,” Jesse let the curtain drop from his metal digits as he turned away and settled back into his chair, “He ain't doin this on purpose, the avoidin I mean. He don't know how to deal with me in a different way, he's regroupin, wants to make the right moves. It's… hell it's annoyin he won't just talk to me, but it's pretty damn endearing if I say so.”

“Do you say so?”

“I do.”

When they parted that night, McCree had a feeling that Hanzo would pull away if he came on too strong, or started treating him differently right away, so he gave him space. The waiting was always an issue for McCree, he was a man of action, but sometimes it was smaller actions that made the big ones more meaningful. Jesse opened up his and Hanzo’s chat, and texted him.

“You look nice today Darlin, hair down suits you.” 

Moments later, he got his reply. Jesse grinned at the screen and looked at Angela with a slightly more smug glint in his eye, “You wanna know what he said?”

“You are a child,” Angels rolled her eyes with a soft sigh and gentle smile, then seconds after walked over and sat beside him, “Show me, yes.” 

Jesse puffed his chest out with a little pride and handed over the phone. Angela giggled softly and placed a warm hand on McCree’s arm, “He said you look handsome, how cute. Oh wait, he's typing.”

Almost lightning quick McCree snatched his phone back and held it closer to his face, awaiting the ping of a message. Reflexively, Angela guided his hands down away from his face to preserve his eyesight, muttering for him to be careful. He nodded a thank you, and straightened his back out as well, knowing that would be her next critique of his posture. When the phone finally buzzed, Jesse tapped one foot a moment before biting his lip and putting the phone away swiftly. Angela squinted at him with a knowing grin, sly and upturned. “Is something wrong with the text, Jesse?”

“No ma’am.” 

“Then why are you so red?”

“A man's entitled to his colors, Angela.”

The doctor leaned forward and set two fingers on Jesse's wrist, “Elevated pulse, red in the face, refusal to make eye contact? Either you've got the flu, of he embarrassed you. Which is it?” 

“Would you believe the flu if I coughed?” He chuckled nervously, pulled his wrist away, and reached for the phone. As he handed it back to Angela, his mouth went dry, “Don't you say a word, you hear?” 

The doctor pressed her fingertips to her lips as she read, her face gaining some color. She turn to him, her voice quiet, “Jesse that's beautiful.” 

“That's Hanzo.” He winked at her, kissed the top of her head as he got up, and left with a wave toward Genji. 

As the outlaw walked toward the front doors of the library, he tipped his hat at Hanzo, who gave him a curt nod before going back to his book. Once he was within his small apartment, Jesse lay down on his futon and smiled wide as he reread the message. 

“Thank you for your kindness and patience with me, Jesse. I have not gotten the chance to be in a relationship of my choice before this moment, but I am certain that this is a choice I wish to make. I will make mistakes. I will push you away. Please, do not go unless you wish it. I am aware that this is a great deal to ask, but I would like to know if I can become the man you think I am.”

McCree’s cheeks hurt from smiling. He got up from the futon and went over to his desk. There he rummaged through his photos until he found the one he was looking for: the black and white of Hanzo on the bridge. He felt his cheeks hurt again, and bit his lip, “Damn Han, I can still feel you on me.” 

Gently, McCree ran his finger tips over his bottom lip and closed his eyes. He tried to picture how it would have looked on camera, holding Hanzo like that, kissing him like that. His face grew hot at the thought of being able to do that again, and maybe soon if Hanzo ever stopped ignoring him in public. When he had been put off by Hanzo’s sudden coldness, he confided in Zenyatta, who had been the biggest help, and gave him the advice he needed and not the words he wanted. 

“A warrior's greatest weapon is patience.” 

McCree had heard it over and over in his years with the monk brothers. Every time he became frustrated, or burned out, one of them would remind him to keep his steady pace and mind the signals his body gave. To have patience even when he didn't want to have it. Jesse set the photograph back into his pile with a deep breath in and out, then walked a few steps into his kitchen. 

In the many years he had lived with Gabriel and Jack, Jesse learned a great deal about being a functional adult. His favorite things he learned were how to have a proper fight, how to fix his own vehicle, and most of all how to cook. Gabriel was a big advocate of family meals, and even when he and Jack had been working on cases, they always made the time to sit down with Jesse and eat together. 

From his fridge, Jesse brought out green chilies, eggs, sharp cheddar, chorizo sausage, and a stick of butter. Next, he placed a pot on his back burner with water, and brought it to a boil as he scrambled together his eggs. Then went in his rice, and with the temperature down on low, he set his timer and went to the rest of his prep work. Shredded cheese, diced the chilies, from a basket on top of the fridge he grabbed an onion and diced it quick, putting the stuff he wouldn't need into a bag and then the fridge. He placed a pan on the stove in front of his rice pot, then mashed the chorizo down with butter, and once cooked, he threw in the rest.

The entire time Jesse cooked, he sang. Songs that Gabriel would sing while he cooked, songs of love, of happiness with family, even ones that he made up. That night, with Hanzo on his mind and so far away from his hands, Jesse found himself singing La llorona under his breath. He found it fitting for Hanzo, and thought that maybe someday he'd be able to sing it to him as he cooked for them, and not longingly to himself.

Jesse chuckled at himself and shook his head, “Foolish thought cowboy. He'll let you go someday… just enjoy him while you can.” 

The timer buzzed, and Jesse moved his dinner away from the hot burners. He took out a bowl, and dished himself up before going to his futon and settling in to eat. After not exercising his patience and burning his mouth on the hot food, Jesse set the bowl down and picked up his phone to mindlessly scroll for a moment as he waited for his meal to cool. The scrolling was short lived, when he got a text from Hanzo. 

“I apologize, I did not mean to cause any discomfort with my words, I will take note of this and learn from my mistakes.” 

McCree frowned at the message, thoroughly confused until he saw where the problem lay. In his text box, the unsent message from well over two hours ago sat in wait. McCree smacked his forehead and groaned, feeling like an idiot for keeping Hanzo waiting so long he thought he'd done something wrong. “Great start dumbass, hit send next time.” 

“Darlin you ain't done nothin wrong, I forgot to hit send and got caught up makin myself dinner. You don't have to tone down a thing, I'm serious. Could stand to be more clingy.” 

With better judgement, Jesse deleted the last sentence and sent the text. His phone pinged as he shoved a still too hot mouthful of food in so he could grab his phone quicker. As he tossed the food from side to side in his mouth, he couldn't help but wonder what Hanzo saw in him at all. 

“What did you make?”

Jesse swallowed painfully and coughed a little, “Molten lava, damn this is hot!” 

But did he learn? No. Seconds later, Jesse was playing the same game of “burn the daylights out of his mouth” as he took a photo of his dinner and sent it to Hanzo with the caption “supposed to be chorizo and eggs with rice, taste more like fire.”

“I have seen you eat a jar of pickled habaneros. Surly this cannot be as spicy.”

“Darlin I mean it's hot food. Not spicy food.” 

Jesse covered his mouth to keep from smiling too much, his cheeks still hurting from earlier. He ran his finger tips over his bottom lip again softly, not wanting to forget the feeling. With his smile soft, he felt more at ease and continued to eat, now blowing on each spoonful like a sensible man. Another ping caught his attention, and when he looked down he nearly choked. Jesse smacked his chest a few times as he coughed, “You what now!?”

Plain as day, Hanzo had asked to come over for dinner. 

“Your cooking intrigues me. I would enjoy sharing a meal with you, if that is alright?”

On the other end, Hanzo paced in his half packed room, one hand clutching his phone with white knuckles, the other over his mouth in anticipation. He had been working on finding a new place since Genji had been moved, closer to the library and away from the “Shimada side of town”, as Jesse had once put it. He stood stiff when his phone vibrated in his hand, then immediately unlocked it to view. 

“Might be cool enough to eat when you get here. Come on by, I'm in 24B across from Castillo Park.” 

Hanzo’s heart pounded in his chest, and he raised both arms into the air with a triumphant “Yes!” before quickly looking around to ensure no one had seen his outburst. He was the only one in the large home, it would have been impossible. Just before he left, Hanzo took a gamble he never thought he'd ever take, and packed a small overnight bag to leave in his car just in case. He held the blue backpack in his hands with a startling amount of anxiety before throwing it under his seat and buckling up. Hanzo left his car in the park’s lot, remembering Jesse talking about being able to see the trees from his window. Before walking up to the building, he scanned the building for McCree, seeing if he could find the man in the windows. Hanzo felt his heart pick up and his cheeks get a little hot when he spotted Jesse pasing his apartment with his phone to his ear. He looked vaguely panicked, as if bad news was on the other end of the line, and Hanzo wondered if maybe he had caused the panic. When he caught Jesse’s eye however, the fear in his heart was replaced by the same panic he assumed Jesse had been feeling.

“What if I mess this up?” 

Jesse had Angela to talk to about this, and it was her that he had been on the phone with while Hanzo drove over. She kept her voice even, but there was an exhaustion in her voice that he could tell she was tired of this conversation. That's when another voice caught him off guard and he panicked. 

“Jesse Reyes- Jesse McCree, you are an adult with a brain. Use it, and stop bothering Dr.Zeigler while she's on her breaks at work. I know you two are close, but I'm this close to coming out there and smacking some sense into you. Be an adult. Make your own choices and mistakes.” Ana huffed into Angela’s phone with that same motherly tone she had talked to Jesse with his entire life. 

He was about to argue, say how he was making his own choices just fine, when he saw Hanzo in the parking lot across the street. Instead, Jesse nearly yelled into the receiver before hanging up abruptly, “Hanzo’s here gotta go thank you Ana.” 

For Hanzo, he had no one to speak his panic to, and instead it nearly consumed him with every chance it got. Dozens of times on the short drive over, Hanzo had thought about calling off, or turning around, and once or twice even thought as extreme as skipping town. But he made it, and against the fear of rejection that wanted to keep him rooted in his place, he took a deep breath and walked forward. 

Jesse greeted him at the door almost too eagerly. He smiled bright at Hanzo, face flush and heart pounding in his chest, “Hey- uh- c-come in!” 

With a small chuckle and a pat on the shoulder, Hanzo walked into Jesse's home, “You do not have to be so nervous. We have been together many times before, this should be no different.” 

“Comin from the man who's been avoidin me for two days,” McCree closed the door and went back to the stove top to get Hanzo some food, “What made you wanna come over anyhow? Couldn't a just been my cookin.” 

Hanzo thanked him quietly as he took the bowl and settled onto the futon. He watched Jesse sit down on the floor to continue eating, then took his time looking around the little studio apartment. Out of all the things to have caught his eye, Hanzo noticed the outlier in the hundreds of photographs in the room. A single framed photo of a man holding a sleeping child in a police station. 

He pointed at the photo with his spoon before taking a bite, then proceeded to talk with his mouth half full. “Why is this photo different from the others?”

As Jesse followed the point of the spoon, his heart sank a little. He shook his head, trying to stay light, but he knew it wasn't his best effort. “That's my old man an me. I was six, I think, when that was taken.”

“Breaking the law at such a young age? Outlaw indeed,” Hanzo chuckled and continued to eat his food, a small smirk on his face as Jesse huffed at him.

“He's a cop, that's why we're at a police station ! Least, he was.” McCree wasn't sure what Gabe was doing, or if he was alive still. His last call to his father had ended quicker than it started, but his voice had sounded so distorted that Jesse wasn't sure what to make of it. He turned away from the photo and pointed at Hanzo, “Tangent passed, why else are you here?” 

Patience. Jesse was quick, but Hanzo was slow. He took his time chewing, eyes closed and a soft hum between bites. It was practiced, mechanical, and a good excuse for Jesse to look at Hanzo’s mouth without feeling like a creep. When he was done, Hanzo set his bowl down and looked to Jesse with half hooded eyes. Slowly, he took a deep breath, “I… missed you.”

“Come again?” 

Hanzo gave him a soft glare before the facade dropped. Who was he trying to impress, to fool? With a quick look out the window, just for his own anxiety’s sake, Hanzo got on the floor with Jesse. He loomed over the outlaw for a moment before kissing his cheek and sitting down beside him. 

“I missed you. Are you satisfied with the answer?” he snapped, folded his arms over his chest, and turned his head away. Hanzo wasn’t used to displaying affections, he didn’t know if what he was doing was right or not, and it made him anxious and irritable. But he liked it, in a way. The discomfort did put him off, but he wanted to be near Jesse, and settled down with his head on the outlaw’s shoulder.

Beside him, however, Jesse was seeing stars. He bent his neck and set his head against Hanzo’s. With red cheeks and a heart that wouldn't stop hammering away, McCree nodded, very satisfied with the answer. Once his pulse slowed, Jesse finished his meal and stood to clean up. It seemed like Hanzo didn't want to move just yet, as he growled like a wild animal when Jesse got off the floor. He laughed and looked under his arm at Hanzo, “What was that just now?”

His face flush red and he glared at Jesse, then blinked in his own surprise, understanding where the growl had come from. He chuckled to himself, then looked up at McCree with humor in his words. “I am a dragon.”

“Well, that’s a first, never dated a dragon before.”

He laughed a little louder and held his hands up, this time it was his turn to surrender information. Hanzo rearranged himself to lean against the futon so he could watch Jesse in the kitchen as he spoke. “My father told Genji and I stories when we were children, of mighty dragons that were brothers. Genji and I, mind you we were very young, used to pretend to be the dragons from the story. As a child, when I didn’t like something, I developed the habit of growling at it as I just did… it appears I never grew out of it.”

“A dragon and an outlaw huh? Might just have to start callin you that, sounds catchy.” Jesse gave a soft hum as he washed the dishes, a few verses of La llorona coming out every now and then. He turned his head to peek at Hanzo, and gave him a warm, soft smile, “Truth be told Han, I missed you somethin fierce. Been worried about comin on too strong, and now that I got ya, I'm fumblin. Hell what are we even considered now? I… I real like you, and it's makin me crazy.” 

With the dishes in the rack, Jesse went back to the futon and sat behind Hanzo. He put his arms around Hanzo’s shoulders, his face in the nape of his neck. Jesse took a deep breath, setting a kiss on Hanzo’s shoulder before he spoke quietly, as if he were afraid that the dragon would break if he spoke too loudly. “You're spring to me, Han. Beautiful, a bloom of color after such a cold winter. I don't want summer, I'm afraid to lose the spring.” 

“Jesse, it is the beginning of fall,” Hanzo took his time, and turned around to face McCree. He put his arms on either side of his waist and pushed him back against the couch, holding him there in his sight. 

When he saw McCree part his lips to speak, Hanzo silenced him with a look, “It is the beginning of fall, and I am still here. I am more with you now than I was in the spring. I hated you in spring. Fall is our time. It is the cooldown of fire, when life giving rain comes and soothes the land. It is the death of the old, and gives new life.” 

“Well shit… fuck Hanzo,” Jesse placed his hand on Hanzo’s cheek, bringing them both closer. He closed his eyes and set their foreheads against one another, his breathing a little hitched, “Can't say stuff like that. Makes me think I can keep you.” 

“You can… Jesse, why are you talking as if you expect me to abandon you? If anyone is leaving, I would expect it to be you. I am not easy to be around. I do not intend to leave.” Hanzo brushed aside a few strands of McCree’s hair as he got onto the futon beside him. 

Their legs tangled together, Hanzo held his hand over Jesse's to keep them close, to show him that he was really there. McCree kept his eyes closed, feeling a sense of dread every time he thought of opening them. He didn't want it to be fake, to be a dream where he wakes up and he's in the back of his truck six years ago, a kid on the run with nowhere to go. Blindly, Jesse reached out with his mechanical hand and felt Hanzo still there. A solid, grounding presence. He fisted Hanzo’s shirt, the metal digits curling around the fabric and bringing them tighter together. Hanzo didn't mind it, he'd been without contact for so long that he wanted any of it, all of it if he could. 

With a thick swallow, Jesse spoke, this time barely over a whisper, his voice empty, as if he were trying to keep himself from breaking apart. “I know this ain't a little thing for you, sure as hell isn't for me either. I'm scared to push for things, it's all new territory for us, and being who I am-” his grip on Hanzo tightened, his voice strained and mouth dry, “Han, I- I want to keep you, I want to be your partner, but I'm such a goddamn fuck up-”

“Cease.” Hanzo caught Jesse’s face in both hands, another growl in his throat escaping. “Open your eyes, look at me Outlaw. You are a good man, you've taught me that I can be one too. I will admit, I am worried of this as well, I have never been openly affectionate with a man in public. I want to be with you, I do not intend to be afraid of the public eye forever. So,” he gave Jesse a light smile, endearing and soft, “We both have our insecurities.”

As Jesse followed his heart and leaned in, his other hand found purchase on Hanzo’s thigh. The way Hanzo kissed, it was hungry, a yearning to be close, to feel everything he could. Hanzo bit Jesse's bottom lip between his teeth, and a couple times their teeth knocked together, and Jesse couldn't help but laugh a little each time. McCree was gentle for the most part, cautious of where he placed himself, of how he moved against Hanzo’s lips, but the longer it was, the more he let himself take part. He slid onto his back and pulled Hanzo onto his chest, laughing a bit when Hanzo didn't even flinch and straddled him around the waist. 

Hanzo had been wondering if he was going too far, and sat up a little to look at Jesse. He brushed a thumb across Jesse's bottom lip, feeling the redness in his own, “I have a confession.” 

McCree brought a hand up and ran it through Hanzo’s hair to get if out of his face. If there was talking, he wanted to see every word that pretty mouth was going to say. “Do tell.” 

He cleared his throat and tucked another stray strand of hair behind his ear. If he was going to say this, now would be the time. Hanzo shut his eyes, not wanting to see Jesse just in case it was the expression he was afraid of. “I packed an overnight bag, I did not plan on leaving tonight.” 

“Well now,” McCree sat up and placed his lips on Hanzo’s throat, “That works out, I didn't want to let you go.” 

When Jesse bit down, Hanzo leaned into it with an unexpected groan. His cheeks burned hot, embarrassed by the sound, but most of all that he wanted it again. But much to his dismay and relief, Jesse let go of Hanzo’s neck and looked up at him, “You go get your bag, I'll set us up for the evenin. And Han, there ain't no pressure for anythin to happen.”

“I will return soon,” Hanzo placed another kiss on McCree as he released the outlaw from underneath his body. As he walked to the door, he stopped a moment and held the knob before turning it, “If nothing were to happen, could I still stay?”

“I was hopin you would even before I knew bout the bag.” 

With a confident nod, Hanzo left the apartment and went for his car. Jesse got to work as soon as the door closed. He converted the futon into his bed and brought the bedding out from underneath, quickly placing everything and rearranging the smaller furniture to be out of the way. Once that was done, he closed the curtains of his window just after seeing Hanzo lock his car and begin to head back. In a small panic, Jesse ran to the bathroom and started brushing his teeth furiously, then washed his entire face to make sure there wasn't anything on it. As he pat a towel over his face, he heard Hanzo come back inside, and came out to pretend he wasn't so nervous. Hanzo held up his bag to show Jesse, then crossed to him. He took his thumb and put it into the corner of McCree’s lips, making him open his mouth. He felt the Outlaw's bottom lip again, feeling the heat of the bites starting to bloom underneath the red skin. He smiled, his laugh a little deeper than usual, “Are you excited about something?”

“Whatever gave you that idea?” Jesse’s voice was low, quiet, as if he was under a spell. And he was, in a way. He knew that he'd do everything Hanzo asked of him at that moment, anything. 

And Hanzo could see that in Jesse’s eyes. He moved his hand down Jesse's chest, a devious smile tugging at his lips. “Have you done this before?” 

“Few times, not like this…” not with meaning, not with any sort of need other than release. This was more for Jesse, a lot more. He put a hand back to Hanzo’s hip and rubbed his thumb in a delicate circle, “What about you?”

“Not with someone like you,” Hanzo didn't look at Jesse when he replied, he didn't want to betray himself like that, “Not with someone I care about.”

Their neediness from before had become softer, and not as desperate. They parted briefly, Jesse going to lock the door and Hanzo going to get comfortable. As he walked to the other, Jesse felt a heat spread in his stomach and burn up to his throat. He stopped in front of him, and ran a hand through that long silky black hair. Jesse whistled low, a look of pure endearment on him, “Goddamn Hanzo. If you're not the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.”

“And what makes you say this?” he pulled Jesse closer, leaning back and tugging him down.

McCree was happy to follow, his hands wandering down Hanzo’s body with gentle movements that got a him to groan again. McCree placed a few kisses to the Dragon’s throat, and laughed softly against his skin when both of Hanzo’s hands shot up and into his hair, tugging hard. He raised his head and gave Hanzo a little smirk, raising his eyebrow, “Do you want to stop? We can, I won't be mad.” 

Hanzo looked embarrassed, anxious, and Jesse didn't think that was right. He leaned back down and gave him a short, soft kiss, before rolling them both. Hanzo blinked widely as he rearranged himself on McCree’s chest, then swept a leg over and hooked it with one of the Outlaw's. Hanzo pushed himself up with a hand to McCree’s chest and glared at him, “Why did you stop?”

“Is this really what you want, or are you doin it cause I want it? Han, hm,” he chuckled a little, now his turn to be embarrassed, “I can't help but notice I'm the only one who's hard here. I ain't gonna force you into anythin you don't want yet, it's okay to tell me no. I don't want you feelin like you gonna live up to a weird standard.”

“You- I am confused,” Hanzo lay back down with Jesse, his head on his shoulder, “You want this- want to have sex, but we are stopping because you believe I don't want it?” 

“Bingo,” Jesse kissed the top of his head, rubbing his shoulder before he sat up, once again earning a growl, “I need to shower, got ah- business to attend to,” he pat his belt buckle and winked at Hanzo, “If you need me, I'll be- Han you okay?”

“Do you- d-do you ever realize how painful your life was, and now that you have better, it scares you?” Hanzo wiped his face, he didn't want Jesse to see him like that.

All his life, it had never mattered what Hanzo had wanted. Take a woman, lie that you're happy with her, never look at a man. Law is the only path, anything else is a disappointment. Break Genji of his habits, cast him aside if he doesn't see reason. And now, with Jesse, all of that was suddenly different. Follow your heart, be what makes you happy. Reconnect with your brother, he still loves you. And look at me. Hanzo. Look at me…

“Hanzo, Honey you're worryin me, look at me!” Jesse shock him slightly, panic running through his veins cold. He let out a rough sigh of relief when Hanzo turned his head to see him, actually see him. As his eyes refocused, Jesse let go of his shoulders, “Damn near gave me a heart attack, you just dropped off the earth for a moment there.”

“I know why I am afraid,” Hanzo held his hand out for Jesse to take, and when he did, the dragon pulled him down and pinned him hard against the mattress. He sat himself on McCree’s stomach and looked Jesse right in the eye, “This is new for me.”

“Shoot Darlin, it's new for me t-”

“This!” Hanzo said it a little louder, his ears now red from the spreading blush, “All of this, but especially. Especially this act.”

It took Jesse a solid minute to understand what Hanzo meant, but when the lightbulb went off, Jesse chuckled a little, “Never had sex with a man, huh? Darlin you take as long as you need, I- ooooh, that ain't fa-fair.”

“Then do not laugh. It is my turn. I am taking control,” Hanzo kneaded a bite mark into Jesse's neck, sucking the skin a moment before biting down harder.

He felt Jesse's hands over his thighs, and decided it was time to make them both more comfortable. Hanzo got off of Jesse with a demanding look, stern and rough. “Take off your clothes, now.” 

“Han are you su-”

“Now, cowboy. I will not ask again.”

The fire in Hanzo’s eyes brought Jesse right to his feet, and they both began to disrobe. Hanzo’s eyes wandered Jesse's body, taking in every detail he possibly could. The light scars in his darker skin that he'd have to ask about, a few tattoos he'd never seen before, hairy, tight muscles, and this was all his now. This handsome, stunning man, he was Hanzo’s, and that was suddenly very apparent to him now. 

Jesse reached out and did a few buttons for Hanzo, a little smirk tugging at his lips once again. “Not what you were expecting?” 

“No, if I am speaking honestly,” he swatted Jesse's hands away and finished his shirt buttons, then moved on to his pants, his eyes continued to take in the sight before him, “Where did you get these scars Jesse?”

“I could ask you the same,” his voice was quiet, noticing the long thin marks over his side and back, spots hidden from view easily.  
With his clothes cast aside, Hanzo brought his hands down on Jesse's shoulders and made sure they were looking to one another, looking further than skin deep. His hands glided up Jesse's neck, fingers running through his hair for a moment before locking him into place. He gave him a nod, short but with purpose. “I want this, Jesse. I want you.”

“You have me.” McCree’s voice was heavy, and he swallowed thickly, his body giving a soft shiver. 

It was happening much differently than it had in Hanzo’s mind, but their whole relationship had been. If someone had told Hanzo back when they first met, that he'd be on top of Jesse McCree with every intention of being intimate, he would have murdered them. But that wasn't the case anymore. 

Hanzo growled again and placed his palms down on McCree’s chest, then straddled his hips, moving against him slowly. At this, Jesse let a soft moan and his hands went to Hanzo’s back, one going up and pressing between strong shoulder blades, and the other going down, slipping between one of the remaining pairs of underwear that separated their contact. Hanzo rose to meet Jesse’s hand, gasping roughly as his fingers pressed gently to his entrance, testing to see if this was alright. At the rise, Jesse placed a few kisses to his chest, tasting salt and desire on his lips. He smiled sweetly against Hanzo’s chest, revelling in the warmth, in the contact of someone he truly wanted. 

“Gonna need somethin slick if you really want to get this goin,” Jesse chuckled and held his fingers still, earning a gruff sigh from Hanzo. 

With reluctance, Hanzo let Jesse up from the bed again. He sunk down into the mattress and watched him walk to the bathroom. He called out, laughing a bit, “For such an eccentric man, your boxer shorts are very bland.” 

“What did you expect,” Jesse chuckled as he rummaged in his medicine cabinet, “some horses on my ass? A cactus pattern? I'm a man of simple needs, drawers mostly used to keep things in place, never had anyone lookin at em for long.” 

“Expect that to change,” Hanzo greeted him with another, more greedy kiss as Jesse settled beside him. 

They spent a little longer feeling each other out, hands moving across skin, tugging at hair and finally to take away their last barriers. McCree guided his hand back to Hanzo’s ass, pushing two slicked fingers inside and curling the digits back and forth. Hanzo stiffened in more ways than one, his walls tightening around Jesse's fingers as his cock raised a little more. Jesse bit at his neck again, feeling the tension in his body grow with a few coaxing movements. Hanzo moaned deep in his throat, his hand grabbing for Jesse and running along his shaft and getting the same reaction. Jesse caught his own groans of pleasure in a kiss, his tongue getting bitten by the dragon under his hands. Hanzo rolled with Jesse, shivering at the release of pressure, and pinned Jesse’s hands above his head. 

Hanzo got on top of Jesse again, both of them slick, and apprehensive. Hanzo reached behind him and guided Jesse inside, bouncing a little to fill himself up. With each movement, Jesse gave a soft groan, more than pleased with the feeling of Hanzo around his length. His hand went to Hanzo’s cock, moving against him slowly with a fair amount of pressure. Hanzo bucked his hips, his hands smacked down on Jesse's chest, and he gritted his teeth. 

“Jesse,” the name was a gift from trembling lips, uttered over and over as Hanzo found a rhythm in his movements. 

McCree sang his praises, his back arching up to meet Hanzo’s hips. Grinding, tight, slick, the sound of skin on skin, moans of names and we'll deserved compliments of “You're so beautiful,” “Darlin you feel like heaven,”. Words began to fall into incoherence, gasps, loud moaning, and profanities. 

Hanzo felt his heart pick up and, his body aching for the sake of release. With a hand on Jesse's around his length, Hanzo felt himself coming undone. He helped as he spilled over in Jesse’s hand and over his belly, shaking and bending over him with quiet gasps. McCree stroked him through it, helping Hanzo ride it out. He groaned softly as Hanzo moved against him again, a few last shivers running down his body before he pulled out and came undone with the release of pressure. 

They spent a moment like that, each unable to move. Slow, panting, sweat holding onto their bodies just as they held to each other. Hanzo lay himself on McCree, peppering him with kisses, slow and lazy, gentle hums coming from his throat and tucked into the lines of Jesse's smile. “You sure you've never done that with a man before?”

“Was it that bad?” Hanzo smirked into Jesse's neck, knowing the answer was no. 

It wasn't bad at all, it was damn good. McCree placed a kiss on Hanzo’s forehead and smoothed his hair back with his mechanical hand, doing his best to be gentle. He took in the sight, and found himself falling a little more for the man in his arms


End file.
